Sunday, November 21, 2010

Wake up Shake up after 'Snuffing it'.

Work/Life balance is critical. The recession is over (?) but the after affects linger. I don't know about you...but my business and stress levels were affected....and like many globally, I've not recovered yet....until I was forced to!

You see.....I was told I ‘snuffed' it! I went blue in 20 seconds elegantly 'frothed' at the mouth and did some weird movements and lost 15 minutes of my life. My partner relayed to the St John Ambulance lady (as he relayed my progress whilst waiting for the ambulance) that I must be okay....because I was arguing with him - not wanting to stay in the 'recovery' position. But I don't remember...until I woke staring into the lovely eyes of the St John Ambulance man.

He was a bit of 'tall dark and handsome' type so I could have been on my way to heaven....BUT Thankfully, I hadn't gone there...I would have been angry with myself if I had. You see, I wasn't listening to the signs, my body was telling me....and didn't start taking positive action...until I'd had my 'wake up call'.

Since then, I've done LOTS of investigating physically, mentally, spiritually, work and life wise and making LOTS of changes....(including buying a boat)...

All the reports from the hospital THANKFULLY came back I was okay. I’d had no earlier symptoms… (except those related with stress, not sleeping properly, tired etc. etc) so to everyone concerned – I was ok.

HOWEVER – I took this as a ‘wake up’ call. I was not ready to ‘snuff it’. I had tickets to the Eagles concert in Sydney with my daughters joining us…AND lots of exciting things I wanted to do.

I started with physical side of life by visiting the
• kinesiology
• chiropractor
• massages
• health books and shops,
• check ups with the doctors again
• new food and diet
• new habits (like resting and not working in the middle of the night)
• baths in the middle of the day
• breathing properly
• drink more water, carrot juice and cranberry juice
• lying in the sun
• and very gradually have started to make a ‘come back’ as I embark on more answers like yoga which I started again.

I also checked out the spiritual side of life which I have written my new book about my journey, and I’d seen an angel the night before it happened….so I thought I might find some answers there. AND I DID! I believe we are spiritual beings living in a physical body, and although I had started a new mediation programme (I’ve always struggled with this) I still need to chill out, revamp my life and myself (some more) and change business direction. So I visited the minister of the Unity church I attend…where I have since learnt that Oprah reads the same Daily Word quote book that I do, Plus I had a reading and an angel reading.

As a motivational speaker, trainer and author – our authenticity comes from living and learning before we can teach. I’ve had LOTS to learn… so teach from my own experiences.

One of my goals was to sit in a boat in a bay and write. I didn’t know what or where…but I’m now buying a share in a boat to live that dream. I’ve never been to a Neil Diamond concert…so going along to dance and sing there….and LOADS of other dreams to live.

However….first I have to believe and have faith and trust in myself to listen and create these things. Every human being has to do this…sometimes it isn’t easy…when we don’t know what’s planned for the next day….but as Eckhart Tulle says…live in the moment...we only have one life…and following our passions (mine is helping people boost their self esteem) then we will be on the correct journey for us.

My message to you is – find your journey and keep fine tuning yourself. (Like I have been doing and continue to do for the last 25 years.) The world is waiting for you to listen, live and laugh as you become your best, firstly for yourself and then to help make the world a better place. Don’t delay anymore….listen to the wind, the waves and the messages from words of friends, words in songs, words in books and blogs (like this) take care of yourself in your life.

In our business to succeed, we can forget the basics like I do. But my wake up shake up has set me off to further fine-tune my life to my greatness. I urge you to do the same.

Scary and exciting…this journey encompasses both of those emotions. Embrace them and concentrate on success. It will come with faith and trust and clarity and work. It does for others…so there is no reason it won’t happen to you…if you believe in yourself.

Want to learn more about finding your passions - check out my ebook How to Get what you want in life.. only $15 http://www.attitudespecialist.co.nz/e-books.htm or my complete Attitude Training programme which covers that and heaps more ...only $47. http://www.attitudespecialist.co.nz/attitude-training.htm

OR check out my new book The Success Attitude - Haunting Messages guiding Us,
which is my story with Hindsight Insights so you will examine your life to get on track.
http://www.attitudespecialist.co.nz/latest-product.html

Stress-Control Tools That Start With Your Heart

Step One: Focus on your heart as you breathe in. Then, as you breathe out, shift your focus to the solar plexus, right below the heart. Breathe that way for 10-30 seconds-breathing in through the heart and out through the solar plexus.
This will bring you to a "neutral state." If you're really stressed out, or have been through a dangerous ordeal, you may have to do it for up to a minute.

Step Two: Now, select some kind of positive attitude or feeling. Rozman suggests something simple like appreciation. Something you enjoy and appreciate: your child, your spouse, a great vacation you remember, or even last night's poker game.
"So, now you keep breathing in through the heart and out through the solar plexus, while you're pretending to breathe that feeling or attitude in and out. It starts to shift your whole physiology back into coherence, back into that synchronized mode; so it's not just relaxation, it's energization," she says.

Step Three: "Once you feel the appreciation-or just the attitude of it, if you can't feel anything-you want to 'lock' it in by imagining that you're building and restoring that positive energy right into your body. Picture your cells recouping, your muscles regaining, your nervous system smoothing out. Feel yourself recharging your inner battery," says Rozman.

"You're still breathing into the heart and out through the solar plexus casually-you're not forcing it. You've done 30 seconds to just get it there, then you did 30 seconds where you were finding that positive attitude, now you want to lock it in for another 30 seconds. You just keep visualizing building and storing that positive feeling that appreciation gives you."

You can select the attitudes to breathe that will help you offset a negative emotion or imbalance of any stressful situation you're in, she says. "Breathe deeply with the intent of shifting any moment to a [better] feeling or attitude, from neutral-'Okay, I'm in this hairy situation, let me breathe in the attitude of neutral or balance'-to compassion or care, patience, clarity or anything. As long as it's a positive attitude: what you would really like to feel right then. You can use it in real time when you're in the danger zone.
"For example, we do training for trauma centers and emergency workers, and they learn to breathe in compassion and breathe out care for the patient; or breathe in balance so they don't get freaked out by the blood and gore, and breathe out appreciation that they're helping someone." You can breathe in any positive attitude that you can remember feeling and that helps you be what you want to be, she says.

"It imprints that whole attitude on your physiology and your heart-you 'put your heart into it,' and it's your heart that drives it. This creates the coherent rhythm that signals the brain, and then the brain signals the immune system and the hormonal system, renewing them. It's a way to reboot your whole internal system."
For more information, see www.heartmath.com.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Invest in yourself to Succeed

Invest in Yourself to Succeed

If you want to succeed, you need to change your thinking so you execute an action that will take you one step closer to your success.

Failure to change your thoughts would have you not reading, writing or doing arithmetic, which are all vital skills to you succeeding. You wouldn’t have a job, a career or your business. You wouldn’t have your degree, skills and knowledge that you have now.

Imagine in your retirement, you would be reliant on any government subsidies or others for your food, water and shelter. According to Maslow, these are vital needs to your survival and you would be without them all.

With your thoughts your first action towards success, if you allow your brain to wander of its own accord, it would be full of negative thoughts. You know, you already experience them now. It is no wonder that for thousands of years, mankind has been writing quotes, poems, love songs and books, full of words about succeeding and some type of positive action.

Left to rumble on its own, your thoughts would help you lead a life or misery and negativity.

I’m sure you’ve meet these people anyway. It is a sunny day, but it’s too hot. It’s a winter’s day but it’s too cold….and on this negative thinking continues.
These people are sorry cases that are best left to their own company when they are thinking like that

But don’t let that be you! If you want to succeed you must take control of your thoughts. Your brain is 3 pounds of untapped flesh waiting for the opportunity to help you succeed.

I’ve spend twenty-five years learning to control my thoughts and wonder at the amount of new information that is available as I continue to learn to programme it with my dreams and desires. From single parenting on government assistance, to a variety of careers and now after learning myself my work is motivating others to believe in themselves so they will succeed.

Take control of your thoughts, read books, quotes and success stories as you fill your mind with your thoughts about your success and you are on your journey to become a winner.

Read my free report on Attitude 4 Success. http://www.attitudespecialist.co.nz/attitudereport.html

Find out what Oprah, J K Rowling and Walt Disney have in common that made them successful. http://www.attitudespecialist.co.nz/attitude-training.htm

Or try my Attitude Training Programme with over 325 pages of information to help you become the winner you want to be.

Monday, September 20, 2010

The HAPPINESS SCALE ☺©

Created by Janice Davies – Attitude Specialist

Presenter in TRUE HAPPINESS DVD.

The great essentials in happiness in this life are
Something to do, Something to love
Something to hope for…..Joseph Addison


The Dictionary defines HAPPY as:

feeling, showing or expressing joy, pleased, causing joy or gladness.

Therefore seekers of happiness must decide what will bring them joy or gladness in life and pursue it. For some people deciding what brings them happiness can be the challenge.

Your ONE goal in life is to discover yourself.

Instead of honoring the abundance in their lives, some people limit their thinking to what they don’t have, getting stuck in thoughts of negativity. If happiness is expressing a feeling which is created with our thinking, people must examine and choose their thoughts.

It’s about aligning YOUR:

feelings, thoughts and action
OR
soul, mind and body
.

When you are watching a bee looking for pollen from a flower, they don’t choose the first flower. Instead they examine many before deciding whether to delve in and collect the pollen from the flower.

It’s like that with our lives. We examine different areas and then decide what we need to delve into to bring us happiness.

Happiness depends upon ourselves.- Aristotle


Here’s an exercise where you can rate your level of happiness in each area of your life.

The column headed ‘others’ could be spiritual, community and project may be a big goal, i.e. saving for a holiday.

These two areas are optional. However the score ten is the highest and one is the lowest for any column.

It’s imperative you tap into your heart for this exercise instead of your head. Your heart creates the magic in your life (makes you happy) then your head has to create HOW you can make it happen. Often this works in reverse.

Do this exercise with your pen in your opposite hand, using the FIRST answer that comes into your head.

You'll need to click on this link to my website and download the exercise.
http://www.attitudespecialist.com/pdf/HappinessScale.pdf

The idea of assessing your Happiness Level, is that you are then able to decide where you are in certain areas of your life and those that rate lower, are the areas you could set more goals in.

Check it out...it works. But email me with any questions.
Janice@attitudespecialist.co.nz

Are you Happy? My Happiness Scale



  • The

    HAPPINESS SCALE ☺©

    Created by Janice Davies – Attitude Specialist

    Presenter in TRUE HAPPINESS DVD.

    The great essentials in happiness in this life are
    Something to do, Something to love
    Something to hope for…..Joseph Addison

    The Dictionary defines HAPPY as:

    feeling,
    showing or expressing joy
    pleased
    causing joy or gladness.

    Therefore seekers of happiness must decide what will bring them joy or gladness in life and pursue it. For some people deciding what brings them happiness can be the challenge.

    Your ONE goal in life is to discover yourself.

    Instead of honoring the abundance in their lives, some people limit their thinking to what they don’t have, getting stuck in thoughts of negativity. If happiness is expressing a feeling which is created with our thinking, people must examine and choose their thoughts.

    It’s about aligning YOUR:

     feelings, thoughts and action
    or
     soul, mind and body.

    When you are watching a bee looking for pollen from a flower, they don’t choose the first flower. Instead they examine many before deciding whether to delve in and collect the pollen from the flower.

    It’s like that with our lives. We examine different areas and then decide what we need to delve into to bring us happiness.

    Happiness depends upon ourselves.- Aristotle


    Here’s an exercise where you can rate your level of happiness in each area of your life.

    The column headed ‘others’ could be spiritual, community and project may be a big goal, i.e. saving for a holiday.

    These two areas are optional. However the score ten is the highest and one is the lowest for any column.

    It’s imperative you tap into your heart for this exercise instead of your head. Your heart creates the magic in your life (makes you happy) then your head has to create HOW you can make it happen. Often this works in reverse.

    Do this exercise with your pen in your opposite hand, using the FIRST answer that comes into your head.

    Yourself Health Relationships Work Finances Others Project

    Yourself Health Relationships Work Finances Others Project

    10
    10
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    1
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    1




    Your areas where you have the rated yourself the highest marks, are the area you’ve had the most successes.

    The areas with the lower marks are the areas of your life where you need to focus your goals.

    The successful areas make you feel like a winner (and you are) the other areas make you feel like you’re a loser (which you’re not) you just haven’t achieved your goals in that part of your life YET!

    You have free will so you can do it, if you choose.

    As the author of How to get what you want in life and create success, and also a presenter on the new DVD True Happiness, I have had to recreate a happier, more purposeful personal and professional life.

    It is a challenge but worth the effort to become your greatest.

    Believing in yourself and overcoming your challenges gives you the confidence to move out of your comfort zone, and move onwards and upwards in your life, to happier times that you are experiencing this moment in time.

    As Nike says: JUST DO IT!





    The world is waiting for your best input
    and
    to put your best foot forward!



    One of the key ingredients in being happy is to look after yourself and if you don’t know one else will, instead they will use you and your relationships will be one sided. They will get what they want and you don’t. Consequently, they are happy and you are not.

    Additionally, your life is for you to learn to be yourself and live being that person.

    Life is a journey that is constantly changing which means you have to be continually learning something new to keep on your self development journey.

    It’s the old adage….Love yourself first and others will love you.

    However….this takes a journey in self-awareness to your success and happiness.

    The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved —
    loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.
    Victor Hugo


    Your Guide to
    TRUE HAPPINESS
    DVD





    When I was invited to be part of the DVD Your guide to True Happiness, I had a huge sense of coming home. Here is some excerpts which I shared.


    Put yourself first

    Your lifelong goal is to create happiness in your own life. And that means learning to be who you are, living who you are, being that person. Then doing what you want to do is going to bring you happiness and you will get what you want to have.



    Self, Health, Relationships, Work/Career, Finances, Community.

    Putting yourself first means learning to love yourself. It’s moving from having low self-esteem to high self-esteem, to believing in yourself. When you do that, you’re going to be able to have the confidence to overcome any challenge that comes into your life.


    Challenges

    We’re always going to have challenges. We’ve got a whole lot of things that we’re working on in our life. But the tests that the universe sends us are going to be tests that you are going to be able to overcome.

    So you’ve got to make a choice now. .

    Your career

    Life is about understanding that you’ve got choices – that choice

    1. it’s going to take you down a happier path, and choice

    2. you’ve got a bigger fear to overcome.

    So, that’s also another thing to take into consideration when you’re thinking about happiness, and also the can and the can’t change; that we can be unhappy about something that we can change, and that is (a) our job, our health, our relationship. But we can’t change some things, and so being unhappy about things that we can’t change is really wasting our time and our energy.


    Your key is to learn to create your happiness.






    Here’s some information about the DVD.

    True Happiness DVD
    revamps 2000 year old secrets
    for 21st Century


    Former New Zealand Herald Careers editor Steve Hart has produced the True Happiness 70-minute DVD which features some of the country’s top motivational speakers as well as GPs, a psychologist and spiritual leader.

    “Research shows that is not the case and that a person’s set point of happiness can be raised with positive thinking and looking at life in a more positive way If you are felling unhappy about your life, relationships or work then a new DVD may be able to help you.

    He says the basic thrust of the video is that money doesn’t raise people’s levels of happiness.

    “We all need money,” says Steve. “But once you have the basics covered, more money doesn’t translate into more happiness. For example, people live for the Lotto, saying that if they won the big prize they’d be happier.

    The experts say that acceptance of your circumstances is really the start of becoming more contented – not wishing your life away hoping for a big win or waiting to retire from your job.”

    Steve says the idea of the video came to him more than two years ago.

    “At the time I was working full time at the newspaper and frequently got calls from people asking for advice about their careers. A lot of them seemed plain miserable with their lot.

    “At the same time I was speaking with life coaches and career coaches and thought it would be good to bring some of them together in one positive, inspiring and motivational video.



    ABOUT THE DVD
    If you have been searching for the secrets to feeling happier, need guidance about the job that’s right for you or simply want to see the light at the end of the tunnel during these tough times, then your search is over.
    The True Happiness DVD has already helped thousands of people discover new meaning in their lives. To bring life into perspective and help them look at what really matters: health, well-being, relationships and contentment.
    This wonderful DVD is full of practical help and advice, delivered by people who are experts in their field. It really helps people who are feeling depressed, are seeking a happier life or want guidance on their career or job.
    Among the nine New Zealand experts featured are Dr Tom Mulholland, The Attitude Doctor; leadership coach Dr Clive Littin; self-esteem guru Janice Davies; the Rev Rhonda Joy Gola; change agent Jon Winder and holistic physician Dr Robin Kelly.
    This excellent and thought-provoking video will help you recognise why you may feel unhappy and give you solid ideas on things you can do right now to start changing your life.
    The True Happiness DVD will help you feel better about yourself and see the world in a whole new light. It is spiritual – but not religious – it is motivational but not unrealistic – and above all it provides you with the tools you need to help you change your life for the better.
    After watching the video in the comfort of your home you will start to discover a more positive you and become a person who smiles, embraces life and helps others to become more contented. Every time you watch the DVD you’ll pick up something new to help you.
    If you are feeling unhappy then is time to be bold and make the changes you want in your life. Watch True Happiness today and let the changes begin.


    DVD Chapters



    How to be happy at work – The best job is one you would do even if you weren’t paid for it. You should be passionate about what you do at work, so you look forward to going to work. A job that uses your strengths and incorporates the things you are good at is what you should be looking for.
    How to find happiness – Understand that everything is temporary – especially the bad things you go through. You control how happy you feel – other people do not make you happy or unhappy. Your level of happiness is down to you and what you tell yourself about your world.
    Coping with depression – Understand how to cope with those low spots and discover what you can do to help yourself and who to see to get the help you need.
    The route to happiness – The route to true happiness is right now – today. Always thinking about the past or the future robs you of being happy today. If the way you are living your life is not working then it may be time for change.
    Buying happiness – While buying stuff can make you happy, the buzz can soon wear off. Happiness is a state of mind, an attitude. Learn to think differently and feel more happier and contented as a result.
    The key to happiness – Self belief and accepting who you are and where you are is the start of finding happiness in your life.



    Where to find happiness – Look within. Discover the link between being happy and being contented. Contentment is a stable attitude of mind – learn how to feel contented by being grateful for what you have and what you enjoy.

    It doesn't matter how long we may have been stuck in a sense of our limitations. If we go into a darkened room and turn on the light, it doesn't matter if the room has been dark for a day, a week, or ten thousand years - we turn on the light and it is illuminated. Once we control our capacity for love and happiness, the light has been turned on. - Sharon Salzberg


    NZD$39.95 PLUS GST & POSTAGE…
    http://www.attitudespecialist.co.nz/dvds4sale.htm
    *************************
    Janice Davies – the lady with nice in her name
    Attitude Specialist
    Professional Speaker * Author * Coach *
    Founder of International
    Ph 021 514 511 Ph 64 09 424 8400
    Skype: attitudespecialist
    P O Box 83218 Edmonton Auckland
    www.attitudespecialist.com

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Keeping staff is in the balance

I didn't write this article, but i thought you might be interested as i was quoted in it.

With many firms clamping down on costs as they navigate the gradual recovery from the recession, some bosses may decide to put ideas of helping staff maintain a good work-life balance on the back burner. But, says one researcher, this would be a bad move.
Dr Linda Twiname, a senior lecturer at Waikato Management School, University of Waikato, says work-life balance initiatives are even more important during hard economic times.
"Wise employers will treat their staff well," she says. "That is probably a part of who they are anyway, and we know that not all work-life balance initiatives cost money.
"Business owners need to make the most of every business opportunity when business is tight. And so having high commitment from staff will shine through at this time.
"The other side of the coin is that a lot of firms don't do work-life initiatives for the soft reason, they do it for the financial reason - and I totally understand that. When you are running a business you have got to pay the bills."
Twiname's belief is that during tough times employers need to keep their best staff onside, to retain them and prevent them from leaving to work for a competitor.
Brien Keegan, regional manager of recruitment firm Randstad, agrees, saying firms helping staff achieve a good balance will pay dividends for them in the war for talent. A war that is still active in many sectors of the recruitment game despite the recession.
"We live in times of a rapidly ageing workforce and as the baby boomer generation starts to retire that means offering them a good work-life balance so they are encouraged to continue with their career," says Keegan.
"By allowing older staff an almost semi-retirement situation, that will help firms retain institutional knowledge and capability for the organisation."
Keegan says the number one thing employees are looking for are flexible working options.
"So a firm that lets staff nip off to collect their children from school at 3pm will have a competitive advantage over firms that don't," he says.
Janice Davies, personal counsellor and organiser of the annual self-esteem event Self Day, says the whole work-life balance issue is a hot topic right now.
"It's been slotted down the list by some employers," she says. "But the fact is a good work-life balance is needed now more than ever as people are losing their self-esteem and becoming depressed.
"Those still in jobs, and who have seen colleagues made redundant, have the added stress of coping with more work to pick up the slack and perhaps have less of a budget to work with - they have to do more with less.
"Some people have not been affected, though, are carrying on okay, and moving into holistic life-work strategies."
Keegan says: "What we saw during the global financial crisis was that as people left firms, for whatever reason, those left behind would have to do more. Particularly in industries that are sales-dominated.
"And with current technology such as iPhone, Blackberries, advanced mobile phones and laptops, the line has blurred between life and work. It means employees need to work for a firm they are engaged with.
"I know of stories where people have been sitting at home at 9 or 10 o'clock at night still interacting with work via their Blackberries. Then their partner has said, 'It's time to turn it off - you're not at work now.'
"The great thing about technology is that it makes it easier to communicate and work wherever you may be, but it also binds us into our work life even more."
Keegan says the upside is that while people get more freedom to work where and when they want, in some circumstances it pushes the decision of work-life balance on to the employee.
"I think us Kiwis have got the balance about right when we compare ourselves to our cousins in Australia," he says. "It is normal for us to go to work, work hard and then leave on time and go home to continue the rest of our life."
However, he says people in professional services - such as lawyers, accountants and those leading project-driven roles - typically have more difficulty striking the right balance all the time.
"Because these are your work hard, play hard people," says Keegan. "The thing about work-life balance is that it is an absolutely individual preference or state of mind.
"Work-life balance means something different to pretty much everybody that you speak to. It could be drinks on a Friday or being able to get home to see the children before they go to bed.
"Job hunters should ask themselves if that new organisation will allow them to achieve the balance they seek in their lives."
Like Keegan, Davies says people should be employed in a job they like, then the balance will come naturally.
"These people are already happy and more positive about coping with the stress of work-life balance," she says.
"If they are not in a job they like, then balancing their life and work will not make them any happier. They are already thinking and feeling negative and are more susceptible to stress - coping will be more challenging because of their negative state of mind."
However, Twiname wonders if the term work-life balance should be replaced with the phrase life-life balance.
"Work is part of our life, we spend the bulk of our time at work," she says.
It is a view employment commentator James Adonis shares.
"I don't believe there is such a thing as work-life balance," he says. "The term is an oxymoron. It implies that work and life are opposites; that they're territorial enemies terrorising each other for space in an employee's life.
"That's an unhealthy attitude to embrace. Work and life don't need to compete with each other. They can co-exist.
"As a society we really need to stop looking at work as such a big bad beast."
Keegan says once the economy picks up and staff have more choice then firms that have turned their back on staff will see a mass exodus.
"As soon as there are more jobs around it will have a snowball effect."
By Steve Hart

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Being Proactive Equals Your Success

Being Proactive Equals Your Success

The World is your Oyster is a proverb Shakespeare first used in his play in1600.
and it’s a phrase that sums life up. It affirm that whatever you want is within your grasp. The challenge is that each person has to go out and get it. Unless you are one of the very lucky or privileged few…the money you want, the dreams you want, aren’t’ going to be handed to you. You have got to be proactive and work towards your success.

Being proactive means a change in thinking, followed by a change in actions. Often you need to eliminate from your mind old beliefs about life, that are not supporting you. If you keep thinking, “money is hard to get” you will never keep enough or earn enough because subconsciously you will find a way of sabotaging yourself. Your new thoughts could be ‘money is flowing to me easily’.

Fortunately, your success is in your head…and luckily it’s up to you. There’s another saying If it’s going to be – it’s up to me and that is true. Success isn’t an overnight event and for everyone, success equates to an individuals choice. It may be passing an exam, learning to skydive or making $50,000 profit in their business.

It takes between 21 and 28 days to change a habit. Your success is stepping stones in progress.

10 Steps to Become Proactive

1 Positive – Negatively is rife in life. It is in the media, magazines, people. If you want to be positive you need to rid yourself of negativity. Turn off the television is your first step.

2 Results. – You need to have a goal, dream or desire you are working towards. Maybe it’s money in the bank, increased cash flow in your business, a holiday, new car or ten new clients. A famous quote from the Wizard of Oz is: Any road will take you there, if you don’t know where you’re going.

3 Overcoming FEAR –False Evidence Appearing Real. Imagine not attempting to walk when you were young. You didn’t give up and you wouldn’t want to live without it now…. you tried and succeeded. Take small steps to over come your fear.

4 Attitude – My Attitude postcard reads: Past, Present, Future, Every second you have a choice. Choose Positive and be your own Success Story. It’s true; you can only think one thought at a time. Make it a positive one.

5 Confidence – Walk tall, stand straight, wear your best clothes, use eye contact Fake it until you make it. Smile! You might have butterflies in your stomach, but no one can see them.

6 Communication – Improve your communication by joining Toastmasters and at the same time gain confidence. Attend assertive communication courses, and remember Hello and Thank You.

7 BE Interactive – Just do it! Make the appointments, approach new clients, meet new people, join social clubs. Life is for living.

8 Victorious – With every small success reward you. After ten sales calls, have a coffee, after a completing a task well, find a way of patting yourself on your back. Acknowledge that you’ve achieved something.

9 Enthusiasm – Find the ‘it’s great to be alive’ feeling. Discover your passions, experience and enjoy them. Smell the roses, enjoy good health, eat well and find the vitality in life from within. You’ve got it, but it’s up to you to discover it. Everyone has free will, the choice is yours!

10 Never, ever give up!

Being proactive means you will always encounter challenges, but you will always
Overcome them. It’s like eating peas with a fork…they roll off the side and you usually have to try more than once to eat them. Making the world your oyster and crating your goals and dreams is the same sometimes you have to try more than once to achieve them.

Future Proofing your Business

Future Proofing Businesses

Many businesses, large or small, have enough problems dealing with today’s markets and consumers, let alone tomorrow’s! But failing to focus on the future leads to many businesses drifting into oblivion because their products or services no longer suit the needs of consumers and clients.

The loss of relevance can happen quite quickly, not only for small businesses but also large businesses. Fletcher Challenge was one large New Zealand business that failed to adapt to change and McDonalds had to rapidly change with the fast food it offered and include healthier options.

Now watch the telecommunications and finance sectors over the next decade. There
will be significant attrition amongst the players in these sectors because a number of players have not developed future-focused business strategies that enable them to adapt to coming radical changes in technologies, markets and delivery channels.

The reality is that change has never been as rapid or as dramatic as that which we will see over the next several decades. Developing an understanding of a number of key trends including the impacts of new technologies currently being introduced or developed, the aging of the population and a decreasing interest in rearing children, growing individualism, psychological age becoming more important than physical age, the effects of smart networks, the shift from B2C to C2B, changing logistics and delivery systems, and sustainability issues is essential to ensure long term business robustness and excellence in performance.

As the pace of change quickens, senior management and business owners need to be far more aware of the trends that may impact on their businesses in the next 5 to 10 years than ever. The best way to enhance this awareness is to develop simple scenarios that depict how the market may look in five to ten year’s time. The sorts of questions that might be addressed when developing a scenario include:

• Are our products or services likely to be relevant in 5 – 10 years time?
• Will our currently high value product or service just become another commodity in 5 – 10 years time?
• Which technologies are being developed that might affect our current products or services?
• Who are my consumers going to be in 5 – 10 years time (age group, relative demographic importance, lifestyles, characteristics)?
• How am I going to be able to deliver the solutions that customers require?
• What channels will I use to access my consumers (bearing in mind that traditional mass saturation advertising strategies have, at best, a 1- 2% success rate and the retailing scene is changing quite rapidly).
• Do I need to operate effectively in both place (locally) and/or space (virtually)?
• How will the increasing focus on sustainability affect my business?
• How is increasing globalisation going to affect my business?

Focusing on the future rather than projecting from the past, the approach most business tend to rely on today, requires a major attitude shift. Such an attitude shift is becoming increasingly critical in order to future proof a business. CEO’s, managers and business owners need to spend 20-30% of their time on future proofing their businesses if they .want to thrive.

It is always difficult to change old habits. However, the shift required is not impossible if managers and staff have the inclination and tools to change attitudes and business strategies. And most staff respond very positively to forward thinking vision based strategic planning that moves the business forward when it replaces the same old “same old”, an increasingly outdated approach that increasingly leads to reduced employment security and lower incomes

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Solutions for Preventing Workplace Bullying

Article by Janice Davies, Ann Andrews and Michael Smyth

A recent report highlighted the tragic news that New Zealand has one of the highest rates of workplace bullying in the world, with a staggering one in five employees being subjected to overbearing or belittling behaviour at work.

The research, funded by the Department of Labour and the Health Research Council found that levels of workplace stress and bullying were far greater than expected.
A survey of 1728 workers in the health, education, travel and hospitality sectors found 18 percent had been bullied, while 75 percent had suffered workplace stress.
Ineffective leadership was highlighted as one of the main causes. However, Janice Davies believes that lack of personal awareness skills is also a key factor in the bullying relationships.

The research further discovered that employers across all the surveyed sectors had a limited understanding of the problem and how to address it. It also found that reporting structures in most of the organisations they studied were ineffective, with bullying being viewed as part of wider harassment or violence initiatives.
Organisations need to have a zero-tolerance policy towards bullying which, for most places of work will require a cultural change and clearly defined procedures put in place to educate managers and team leaders on effective strategies for dealing with bullies.

Although it is impossible to gauge lost revenue from the effects of bullying, some staggering statistics are available on workplace disengagement. In a biannual poll of working New Zealanders undertaken last year by Gallup Consulting, their results showed that 15% of workers are actively disengaged (a 4% increase since 2006) and that manufacturing has the highest percentage (22%); service industries the lowest (12%). 38% of actively disengaged staff felt that the stress of work caused a flow-on effect to behaving poorly with their family or friends, compared with only 13% of Engaged employees.

In New Zealand, JRA, who conduct the ‘Best places to work survey’, believe 70 percent of workers are ambivalent or disengaged and the cost of that disengagement is on the rise and estimated to be in the region of $NZ5.9 billion p.a.

Janice Davies was herself bullied at work from a bully with a previously tainted workplace reputation. After a five minute verbal attack from the bully, her boss told her to discuss the problem over lunch and become friends. Fortunately for her, prior personal experiences with bullies and had taught her how to remain empowered.
From the victims point of view bullies are cruel co-workers. It is difficult, but the victim needs to learn if it wasn’t them, the bully would find another target. They use manipulative language and behaviour, preying on kind hearted and non assertive employees or gradually nitpick at confident employees until they lose their self confidence.

A workplace bully is angry and unable to communicate assertively. They have low self esteem and create negative relationships. Some may be conscious of their antics but unaware there are different types of positive workplace relationship which create more satisfaction for both parties.

At Janice’s workshops on dealing with difficult people, attendees confirmed a high percentage of bullying was experienced. It uncovered that after victims discussed the situations with their HR department or managers, they were often told to ‘get on with it’ or it was fobbed off as inconsequential. Generally they found another job leaving the bully for the next employee.

These solutions are suggestions from the reports and our authors.

• Organisations need to have a zero-tolerance policy towards bullying which, for most places of work will require a cultural change and a realisation that bullying is not acceptable
• Organisation will also need to have clearly defined procedures in place to educate managers and team leaders on effective strategies for dealing with bullies
• Organisations also need to provide education for empowering employees to be confident and how to engage in positive workplace relationships
• Organisations who hire for skills rather than attitudes may discover that qualified staff have not developed their people skills, therefore qualified employees still need further education about creating positive workplace relationships.

When these solutions are addressed, an organisation is likely to have a safer environment with trustworthy, motivated staff who support, respect and perform at a higher level during working hours. Thus, the 1 = 2 or more, ratio of disengaged employees is transformed

In the Gallup Poll, it was discovered that 76% of engaged New Zealand workers strongly agree that their supervisor is an active supporter of changes that affect their group. Which translates into good old fashioned democratic or consensus style leadership!

Three professionals who work in the corporate sector are now providing practical solutions so companies can deal confidently and competently with the issue.

• Janice Davies from The Attitude Specialists is a business trainer and consultant who has first hand experience of being bullied at work and now shows targets of bullying how to deal with the situation.
• Ann Andrews – The Corporate Toolbox has 20+ years experience as an HR Consultant who, not only advises organisations on how to set up sound policies and procedures but also teaches managers how to actually deal with bullies in their team
• Michael Smyth is a practising employment law barrister and the author of Employed But Not Engaged: How to break up with your employees and hold on to the ring. Michael has successfully worked with the victims of bullying in raising personal grievances and defended employers from bullying accusations.


Also available are tips, articles, TV & radio interviews and E-Posters for display on http://www.attitudespecialist.co.nz/self-esteem-bullying.html For further queries email janice@attitudespecialist.co.nz

Solutions for Preventing Workplace Bullying

Article by Janice Davies, Ann Andrews and Michael Smyth

A recent report highlighted the tragic news that New Zealand has one of the highest rates of workplace bullying in the world, with a staggering one in five employees being subjected to overbearing or belittling behaviour at work.

The research, funded by the Department of Labour and the Health Research Council found that levels of workplace stress and bullying were far greater than expected.
A survey of 1728 workers in the health, education, travel and hospitality sectors found 18 percent had been bullied, while 75 percent had suffered workplace stress.
Ineffective leadership was highlighted as one of the main causes. However, Janice Davies believes that lack of personal awareness skills is also a key factor in the bullying relationships.

The research further discovered that employers across all the surveyed sectors had a limited understanding of the problem and how to address it. It also found that reporting structures in most of the organisations they studied were ineffective, with bullying being viewed as part of wider harassment or violence initiatives.
Organisations need to have a zero-tolerance policy towards bullying which, for most places of work will require a cultural change and clearly defined procedures put in place to educate managers and team leaders on effective strategies for dealing with bullies.

Although it is impossible to gauge lost revenue from the effects of bullying, some staggering statistics are available on workplace disengagement. In a biannual poll of working New Zealanders undertaken last year by Gallup Consulting, their results showed that 15% of workers are actively disengaged (a 4% increase since 2006) and that manufacturing has the highest percentage (22%); service industries the lowest (12%). 38% of actively disengaged staff felt that the stress of work caused a flow-on effect to behaving poorly with their family or friends, compared with only 13% of Engaged employees.

In New Zealand, JRA, who conduct the ‘Best places to work survey’, believe 70 percent of workers are ambivalent or disengaged and the cost of that disengagement is on the rise and estimated to be in the region of $NZ5.9 billion p.a.

Janice Davies was herself bullied at work from a bully with a previously tainted workplace reputation. After a five minute verbal attack from the bully, her boss told her to discuss the problem over lunch and become friends. Fortunately for her, prior personal experiences with bullies and had taught her how to remain empowered.
From the victims point of view bullies are cruel co-workers. It is difficult, but the victim needs to learn if it wasn’t them, the bully would find another target. They use manipulative language and behaviour, preying on kind hearted and non assertive employees or gradually nitpick at confident employees until they lose their self confidence.

A workplace bully is angry and unable to communicate assertively. They have low self esteem and create negative relationships. Some may be conscious of their antics but unaware there are different types of positive workplace relationship which create more satisfaction for both parties.

At Janice’s workshops on dealing with difficult people, attendees confirmed a high percentage of bullying was experienced. It uncovered that after victims discussed the situations with their HR department or managers, they were often told to ‘get on with it’ or it was fobbed off as inconsequential. Generally they found another job leaving the bully for the next employee.

These solutions are suggestions from the reports and our authors.

• Organisations need to have a zero-tolerance policy towards bullying which, for most places of work will require a cultural change and a realisation that bullying is not acceptable
• Organisation will also need to have clearly defined procedures in place to educate managers and team leaders on effective strategies for dealing with bullies
• Organisations also need to provide education for empowering employees to be confident and how to engage in positive workplace relationships
• Organisations who hire for skills rather than attitudes may discover that qualified staff have not developed their people skills, therefore qualified employees still need further education about creating positive workplace relationships.

When these solutions are addressed, an organisation is likely to have a safer environment with trustworthy, motivated staff who support, respect and perform at a higher level during working hours. Thus, the 1 = 2 or more, ratio of disengaged employees is transformed

In the Gallup Poll, it was discovered that 76% of engaged New Zealand workers strongly agree that their supervisor is an active supporter of changes that affect their group. Which translates into good old fashioned democratic or consensus style leadership!

Three professionals who work in the corporate sector are now providing practical solutions so companies can deal confidently and competently with the issue.

• Janice Davies from The Attitude Specialists is a business trainer and consultant who has first hand experience of being bullied at work and now shows targets of bullying how to deal with the situation.
• Ann Andrews – The Corporate Toolbox has 20+ years experience as an HR Consultant who, not only advises organisations on how to set up sound policies and procedures but also teaches managers how to actually deal with bullies in their team
• Michael Smyth is a practising employment law barrister and the author of Employed But Not Engaged: How to break up with your employees and hold on to the ring. Michael has successfully worked with the victims of bullying in raising personal grievances and defended employers from bullying accusations.


Also available are tips, articles, TV & radio interviews and E-Posters for display on http://www.attitudespecialist.co.nz/self-esteem-bullying.html For further queries email janice@attitudespecialist.co.nz

Bullies Begone Article

COME ALONG TO OUR AUCKLAND WORKSHOP - 10TH AUGUST 2010

HOW TO DEAL WITH TOXIC EMPLOYEES, BULLIES AND AVOID DAMAGES CLAIMS

WAIPUNA LODGE, 9.00AM TO 4.00PM.
ANN ANDREWS speaking on Performance Management
MICHAEL SMYTH - speaking on The legalities and avoid damages claim
JANICE DAVIES - speaking on The victim and bully traits.


Be quick to reserve your space.

http://www.approachablelawyer.com/Page/workshop/1967

BULLIES BEGONE

Why bullying at school is creating problems with our economy and how to fix it


Bullied at high school, it took me twenty years to realise its impact and get back on track in life. Both my daughters were bullied at high school as well. One received text death threats and this was solved with taking the telephone to the police. The other was the recipient of physical abuse from a group of girls and this was solved with changing schools. Whilst both daughters are now qualified and working in their dream careers, bullying at school can have a longer term impact on people’s lives and the success of New Zealand as a world economy.

How bullying impacts our economy

A recent report published by Massey University reveals that New Zealand has some of the highest rates of workplace bullying in the world illustrated by the fact that in the health, education, travel and hospitality sectors 18 percent of those surveyed had been bullied at work. The cost on the victim is immense and in my case cost me 20 years of my life, but there is also a cost on the organisation which permits the bullying behaviour and the bully.

For the organisations, bullying leads to employee disengagement which research shows means higher absenteeism, higher staff turnover costs and lower sales (estimated by the Best Places to Work Survey as being 60% less than a fully engaged workplace). For the bully, failing to deal adequately with their behaviour denies them the opportunity to grow into great leaders. It should come as no surprise therefore that these problems start at a young age when the bully is at school. With truancy on the rise it’s vital to cull the bullying so victims like my daughters are not wagging school to be safe.

School bullying and how to fix it

It is easy to think of school bullying as occurring between pupils only, but let’s not forget that teachers can be victims too, whether that arises from being bullied by another teacher or even one of their students. Therefore different strategies need to be adopted to deal with each situation.

One Manurewa East primary school principal, who completed his masters in the UK focussing on bullying, used his research to solve the school’s problem of bullying between pupils. He introduced compulsory sport in the last half hour of lunch breaks, which research proved was the time most bullying occurred. Not every student likes maths, or reading but it was still part of the curriculum so he introduced compulsory lunchtime sport. Students are kept busy and have no energy to bully others.

That strategy tackles one cause of the problem – boredom by pupils. However, in the workplace boredom is unlikely to be the issue and rather, the Massey report suggests that a primary driver of the problem is a lack of leadership skills within an organisational culture which tolerates bullying behaviour. So if there is a problem of bullying in the workplace (including between teachers) then a different approach needs to be taken.

Start with the culture


In any organisation, the starting point is to look at the culture to see whether it tacitly encourages or actively discourages bullying behaviour. Let’s not forget that our teachers of today were our pupils of yesterday. Similarly our current business leaders, managers and employers also were the pupils of yesterday. A person who grew up in a school environment which allowed him or her to engage in bullying behaviour is more likely to carry that trait forward into adulthood and into the workplace.
Schools therefore must adopt a zero tolerance bullying culture which encourages pupils to work in teams not cliques, creates respect amongst students and most importantly builds confidence and self esteem within individuals. Some classroom strategies include:

• Creating anti bullying zone in class and school
• Art class – making ‘anti-bullying posters, creating dream (goals) posters
• Education about good, bad, happy, angry, scared, fearful, exciting, sad feelings and their appropriate actions
• Educating about feeling good by positive actions (create rewards and certificates)
• Teaching and boosting self esteem with genuine compliments (start a give a compliment day)
• Rotate students seating and include group work to constantly create new teams
• Boost self-esteem by more ‘up the front’ presentations
• Start a new set of positive classroom rules with input by teachers and students
• Including books, DVD’s and posters for further education.

With that culture in place, the school then needs to have systems and processes in place for dealing with bullying complaints which allow victims to reach out for help without making the situation worse for them. Such processes shouldn’t focus solely on relationships between students but incorporate the relationships of student and teacher and teacher and teacher, anticipating that there may be situations where it is the teacher than is being bullied by the student.

As this problem increases a teacher needs to revert to use assertive phrases “I can understand how you are feeling” or similar to let the student understand they are being listened to valued and continue communicating with follow up discussions planned. However, step two if you ‘intuition’ or ‘gut reaction’ is to that physically danger is imminent, remove yourself with phrases like “I'll go and find someone else we can discuss this with” or similar. If personal safety factors are a major concern rearrange the room so your desk is close to an exit.

Next fix the people.

The key strategy when dealing with the victim and the bully is raising their level of self-esteem. After its impact on myself and family, it’s my life mission to improve the awareness of self-esteem, hence the annual mid-year Selfday – International Self Esteem day. Free tips, downloads, Eposters are available for download on www.internationselfesteem.com and visit the bully page for additional information.

Another concept is a Friday afternoon or Monday morning session in the classroom designed to re-enforce self-esteem, achievements, goals and steps for present and future successes. It includes encouraging pupils to use phrases such as:

• I am great because …
• Today I achieved …
• I felt good because …
• Next week I will try …
• I wish that …

These have been compiled into a one page Success Journal which can be downloaded and copied weekly from http://www.attitudespecialist.co.nz/school-coaching.htm.

For both bully and victim, lessons in leadership are vitally important. Study great leaders and encourage pupils to identify different leadership styles and whether each style is effective in bringing the best out of the team and the individual. It is a sad fact that many people entering industry today are ill equipped to take leadership roles and when promoted into those positions leave a trail of destruction behind them.

Education goes further than the curriculum.

Teachers have long known that by educating our children through the school curriculum we create adults who have the intellectual minds to tackle the problems of the future. However, the Massey report identifies that where New Zealand is falling short amongst its global counterparts is in the area of emotional intelligence and effective leadership which are the antitheses to bullying. Development of those skills starts at school.

After working in education systems from pre-school to tertiary and understanding some of its complexities, it’s vital that bullying is addressed. Students are failing because of its impact. Behaviour in society is reflected in our schools and I have joined forces with a performance management expert Ann Andrews and lawyer Michael Smyth to stamp out bullies. Help us to make a difference with our survey invitation below.

What are your views on bullying and how it can be fixed?

We would like you to take part in a short 5-10 minute survey on bullying. To take the survey, go to www.surveymonkey.com/s/nobullies

Janice Davies is The Attitude Specialist, who teaches people to be positive and empower themselves. As a Professional Speaker, Success Coach and author Janice educates people at conferences, workshops and through books. Janice is the founder of the global movement International Self Esteem awareness day.. Janice has online complimentary articles, tips, E-courses, E-posters products on attitude, self-esteem goals, stress, happiness, relationships and more. Visit http://www.attitudespecialist.co.nz.




Monday, April 26, 2010

Mould Baby Boomers, Gen X, Y and Z into a Safe Team.

What can Baby Boomers and Gen X pass onto Gen Y and Z to help improve workplace safety and are they listening? And what can Gen Y teach baby boomers?

Sometimes it’s a challenge to decide which generation you slot into and where your co-workers slot into the workforce as well. Baby Boomers post war babies are now middle age and entering senior years. In the economy, many are now retiring and leaving the labour force. Gen X is the generation born after the baby boom ended ranging from 1961 to the 1981. Then Gen Y applies to those born in between the dates of 1982 and June 1995, followed by Generation Z people born between the mid-1990s and the late 2000s.

One generation of employees exhibits maturity and steadfast loyalty, following the safety rules onsite. Meanwhile the workers of a younger generation who show brilliance and application have an exit strategy if boredom or dissatisfaction sets in, and are less likely to follow the safety rules.

Generation Y and Z have been a product of the self-esteem movement that baby boomers and Gen X did not have. Some of the baby boomers may have instilled it when they became parents to their children, who are now the same age group of workers they are experiencing challenges with.

Generally, it is the baby boomers and Gen X managing the safety of the site and trying to instill it in these younger workers. Every body responds to praise, although some people ‘shove’ it off as part of the job and not recognize a compliment. However, it is still important to give praise when it’s due. A manager, who can work this way, will be shown respect from others.

Often face to face communication hasn’t been established at a satisfactory level with the Gen Y’s and Z’s because of the computer age, mobile phones and other technology that is part of today’s society. However, when communicating safety issues, a good solution is to acknowledge at the commencement of a meeting or training that in their personal life text messages, language and modern methods of technological communication is great, but in their work life they need to use commonly understood communication which is either face to face or written.

This is acknowledging the differences that people are now experiencing and in essence showing some form of respect for that, but moulding the work force together as a team.

A manager who invites the members for input into conversations answering their queries and explaining some of the reasons behind the safety issues, helps to make them feel involved and creates the camaraderie and respect which some may have not experienced.

Teaching anything technical is still paramount and after explaining something to them, get them to demonstrate with ‘hand’s on learning and coach them through the process to get them involved.

Individual coaching of a device is another way to teach, as they want to learn, even if bravado is the face they showing. Gen Y and Z’s in spite of everything want to achieve and receive praise for a job well done and self respect is sometimes a missing key to their former learning.

Manage a young worker every single day and think of yourself as a coach. Check in and help prioritise, teach tricks, and steer their path as they want mentoring, teamwork and responsibility. Just be sure to give them work that is challenging enough to them to warrant daily input and paint a picture of when they mastered this task for a set time, there is something else they can work to achieve.

Baby boomers and Gen X’s need to realise the younger employees’ maybe short-term workers. One of the most notable characteristics is that they will switch jobs over the course of their careers more than any generation before them. Share their future in the company so they can understand there is a career path and you are likely to entice them to stay longer.

Understand they are not like your generation and never will be. Also a great reminder is that it was adults that started this technological revolution and this younger generation are the by-product. It’s not their fault and it is the evolution of society.

On the flip side the Gen Y and Z’s can teach others how to use technology. It has been and remains an integral part of their daily lives. With a whole generation addicted to it, you can’t ignore it and baby boomer lifestyle is not going to dominate the office forever. So start up conversation and be brave enough to ask for help and in lay-man’s language. Generally, they will be happy to be the teacher.


.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Workplace Bullying Television interview

Workplace Bullying has hit NZ news.


Here is my TVNZ interview.
Click on the link and check what I had to say.

http://tvnz.co.nz/search/ta_ent_search_tv_skin.xhtml?q=Janice+Davies&sort=date%3AD%3AS%3Ad1&submit.x=40&submit.y=13

Workplace Bullying affects by Self Esteem

Self Esteem and Bullying Affects Workplace Performance

In the land of tall poppies, it appears self esteem issues has raised its ugly head in our professional life in the work environment.

Additionally, during this ‘r’ time, as people and businesses are facing work redundancies, loss of business and other factors, people need to concentrate to remain confident in their own abilities as they and refocus their future. Albeit, they need to remind themselves they did not cause the recession and maintain their level of high esteem as they seek positive solutions during this time of challenge, through motivation and a positive attitude.

With NZ’s present suicide rates high and our steady decline of personal responsibility, sense of achievement and purpose, esteem is also affecting the professional lives of New Zealanders.

Human nature wants acceptance and appreciation in relationships which results in people ‘feeling good’. Unfortunately many people have not learnt an optimistic way to establish and create this and negative soul destroying bullying type of relationships are formed.

If it is un-encouraging at home, it filters to school and eventually into our workplaces It shows up as negativity, underperformance, bulling and other under achieving behaviour that is wasting the wages the employee is being paid and those they influence.

Additionally, a person who is bullying wants to feel good, be recognized and powerful at no matter what cost. They do it at the expense of another employee which accounts for two employees not working at their full potential.

Bullies have low self esteem. They may not portray that, but inside there is a person who wants to be accepted and loved, who doesn’t know any other way and so they become very clever. They find a vulnerable spot of a person and wedge their thought and ideas onto the person subtly and skillfully, often without the awareness by the second party it is taking place. People who once had confidence often may not realise what is occurring, except whereas once they felt confident in themselves and okay, they are now losing or have lost their confidence and feeling inadequate and dreading going to work.

In most cases, once a person realises they are being bullied, they usually seek resolution with the appropriate department heads or boss. Often this does not occur except further analysis and examination of the bullying situation, which re-enforces the bully’s power and has the opposite affect on the victim. Consequently they leave and the bully is waiting for its next prey.

If every few months you require a replacement employee in a certain department, it could be indicative there is a bully around who displays their destructive behaviour until either the new replacement is manipulated or leaves.

Some symptoms of low esteem

1. Lacking coincidence to learn, make sales or try a new role
2. Negative attitude, complaining and criticising others.
3. Overbearing or autocratic team player
4. Focuses on others problems rather than being responsible for their own
5. Quiet, shy employees who lack confidence
6. Egotistical employee who belittles bullies others


With over forty workshops during the past three years, one of the biggest learning curve for majority of people has been around the issue of self-esteem and unfortunately the most consistent bullying is done by women to women. However, once identified the problem has been half solved with additional counseling sought to re-establish the confidence of the person on the receiving end of the bullying and educate them that if it was not them it would be another person.

On the upside is high esteem. People who establish win/win supportive relationships where they help others, offer advice when asked, set goals are willing to learn, team players who generally help others but not at their own expense.

These people can become employees involved in mentor /mentee relationship and can assist educate them to be empowered, which is the single biggest factor that any human can do for another.

In homes, schools and in the community and workplaces, to create a new psyche in New Zealand, education is needed to improve the low esteem level of many New Zealanders.

Not a job to be taken lightly, for those whose self esteem is intact it may well be because the influence of people in their past.

Albeit a family member, sports coach, friends, strangers or managers who have what I phase ‘shoulder-tapped’ others to have the confidence to learn and succeed, are effectively angels or change agents in disguise. They encourage people to try something new which boosts their esteem and kick starts them to live life positively.

Bullying creates self esteem challenges

Bullying create Self Esteem Challenges

Janice Davies – Attitude Specialist

Feeling powerful is one of the characteristics of bullies. They feel great when they see another person cringe after they have challenged them either verbally, emotionally or physically and this can even stretch to spiritually.

Bullies use their actions in these ways to make themselves feel good. The other party
feels intimidated, threatened or other negative ways. They will succumb to the
demands of the bully to keep the peace and stop the present teasing or antagonism. This leaves them feeling un-empowered, guilty, uncomfortable, angry and other negative emotions.

Bullies don’t care how you feel, they just care that they get their way. Bullies are only concerned about their own feelings and they’re false sense of power.

You’ll find bullies in personal or professional lives. They can be the boss, co-worker, customer or in one’s personal life, the parent, partner or at school, the children causing the fights, or in today’s society sending the threatening text or email.

Bullies are people who have not learnt in their life about how to create good relationships. In the first five to seven years of our life, people’s values about life and ‘how it works’ are formed. If they’ve experienced challenging negative relationships, that’s all they know. They don’t know how to express themselves, work in a good team, show love and care for other people without playing verbal, emotional or physical games.

Bullies are people who have low self esteem and to make them feel good, need power over other people. This creates negative relationships at work and home life. However the person who is being bullied also has low self esteem. This creates a lose/lose type of relationship. Both people have not learnt interpersonal skills and personal development.

Until one person learns how to interact assertively, the bullying continues. Once the other party starts to learn techniques to empower themselves, the relationship starts to change.
To the disgust and anguish or anger of the bully, the other person they once bullied doesn’t react in the same way. The bully will continue trying the same techniques that once got them the reaction and power they wanted. If the person succumbs to the pressure and returns to their old behaviour, the bully has won. This is the recurring patterns in relationships at work and home.

The answer for the person who is being bullied is to un-entangle themselves from this power playing and negative style relationship and move forward in their life. In a work situation it can be as drastic as changing jobs, which many people do. In personal life it can create the same result of leaving relationships, unless both parties are willing to learn together with guidance how to create a positive life.

In either of the above situations, the learning person of the relationship starts to boost their self esteem and overcomes their self doubt learning to feel good about themselves. This is what life’s challenges are for, to prompt people to learn skills to overcome their hardships. Any negative feeling or emotion is an indication that something is not right and needs to be addressed. Sometimes there’s a lot of this negativity and the key is to ‘chip’ away slowly at the challenges. They need to learn to move forward in their life, with more positive thoughts and goals to use their gifts and passions to create their dream life for themselves. It’s everyone’s challenge and some people have mastered the technique and others don’t try.

It’s important for the person learning, to continue their personal growth, coaching or counseling to ensure they have an understanding about their past. It’s also important for this person not to feel guilty and forgive themselves so they can move forward positively in life.

In the work place I hold my Dealing with People and Tricky Situations public and in-house workshops and have Ebooks and manuals which help people understand their situation and empower them with skills to move forward. All the information in these products relate to both personal and professional life. Additionally, my Attitude Training and Online Success Coaching courses all assist and teach people skills to success in their personal and professional life.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Appreciate your Workplace Team

For any school to run efficiently there will be a group people with different skill sets and ideas. Have a big happy family at work might be the ideal, as long as understanding and respect is not undermined. A variety of challenges such as lack of personal development, egos, bullies and other unpleasant behaviors can cause disruptions.

Therefore learning to appreciate your colleagues, some of their idiosyncrasies, provides a platform for a more harmonious work space. Protocol and being PC at work also provide guidelines for positive feedback to boost workplace performances.

One of the biggest ‘aha’s, although it seems rather basic, is to remember that everyone is there for the same goal. Some people will reply they come to work for the money but really they are working to provide service to the customer – the pupils. Whether it is the external (parents or suppliers) or internal (pupils and colleagues) customers, working by the philosophy ‘do unto others as you would have done unto you’ provides a honorable statement for positive workplace relationships in any school.

In one school I worked the heads of department were jostling for ‘their importance’ which was causing disruption. It was a boarding school with the kitchen, laundry, matron, sports and others. It was not until together we reminded them that they were working for the ‘good’ of the pupils. Then they relaxed and began working as a team again. They all loved their work and the positive affects but had forgotten why they chose to work in that environment.

Albeit they learnt each department had different personalities and understood the impact that had on their actions and reactions. Then they could honour their differences, rather than dismiss and ridicule them because different departments ‘did not’ work exactly the same way as themselves.

Additionally, once they were reminded of their main goal of ‘helping their pupils’ I had the platform for prompting them about helping each other. This resulted in creating win/win relationships, versus the thinking ‘I have to win and I don’t care at ‘whose’ expense. I.E. I want the budget spent on my department because it is most important.

Consequently this had resulted in bullying and emotive communication which had developed in their workplace relationships. When people appreciate their colleagues’ strengths and learn how to communicate assertively and effectively, the relationships change.

People who are using bullying tactics are indicative of those who are still playing in the playground as the pupil, stamping their feet until they get their own way. Unable to do it physically, they turn to verbal and often subtle phrases and abuse, playing a game to assert their importance.


It is inflated self-importance which reveals that this person may have lower self confidence that they profess. In an attempt to ‘boost themselves’ they try to negate the other person. Doing so, makes them feel good.

These people need to learn there are other ways to make themselves ‘feel good’ besides manipulative behaviour.

In another school, the principal was shaken when he discovered that bullying was taking place in the school office. Unbeknown to him this negative behaviour had crept in with a new full time employee who threw her authority around especially to the longer employed part-timers.

Notwithstanding, there are the negative people, unable to move past the ‘challenge’ of last week or last year, about ‘how’ things were done or not done and are not willing to
embrace the changes and move forward. The complainer and negative folk need to learn to focus on the positives rather that get stuck in the past. It might take them three months to learn a new system, whereas it took others three days.

In creating positive workplaces it is paramount to move past the ego and into the hearts of the team. People in the teaching profession and their support staff and are the caregivers in society. Albeit they have different traits, but with respect and appreciation combined, the result is a highly effective school.

Everyone has a specific task to perform and exell in. Appreciating the differences and accepting each others strengths is a key to improving the workplace relationships and thus levels of productivity in helping the students perform. One of Mother Theresa’s famous quotes was: Be Kind and Merciful. Let no one ever come to you without coming away better and happier. Maybe this is challenging philosophy to live by, but worth the effort to try. Like a ripple in a pond, the ‘good’ feeling of appreciation spreads to the pupils and into society. Creators of our future society, we need to remember another quote: Appreciation is like an insurance policy, you have to keep renewing it.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Securing your 2010 Goals

Securing your Goals in 2010


Securing your future starts with the end in mind. To retire with your dream income or lifestyle means you have to decide your outcome so you can work towards your goal. To save for a house deposit, your dream car or overseas trip has you involved in daydreaming or visualisation as many athletes do. They have seen themselves crossing the line first or on the podium with their medal and have learnt to ‘see the end in mind’ and work backwards in their training programme.

It’s the same with your new 2010 goals. What achievable results do you imagine you want to reach this year and write them down. Winning lotto is only a small possibility and even purchasing weekly tickets has no guarantee. Whereas, if you want to improve your fitness level you can start with a weekly or daily routine and you will have positive outcomes by 31st December.

The key to achieving is to understand you are living in a constant state of learning. You reach one goal and the next is scooting along ready for you. Hence you constantly need to learn new skills or ways of thinking to move forward in life.

When you are setting goals you have six different areas to set goals in: You, Health, Relationships, Work, Finances and Community. Focusing on all areas as the top priority will not achieve the results you want, so learning to balance these are your key to success. Albeit, you may have one or two as top priority goals for the year, which then become your focus.

As you are creating your life you need to replace your thoughts with new positive ideas that are aligned to your goal. For you to be successful your goals need to be aligned to your values or life rules. Additionally, if you want to save money for an overseas holiday, spending on a busy social life may spend your holiday fund.

Goal versus Intention

In the state of juggling life some of your goals may fail to meet the deadline. This can result in negative thinking, where in fact ‘life’ cropped up and you ‘lived’.

Additionally, the word ‘goal’ for some people has a deadline connotation. Sometimes using the word ‘intention’ works better. There is not the same sense of deadline attached to it. So missing the deadline for a goal (and the negative thinking attached to it) versus achieving an intention (positive thinking) is less stressful and also more successful.

Hard versus Easy road

A goal or intention is the key to success and ongoing happiness in your life. It makes you live life more enthusiastically and has the power to ‘get you out of bed’ with vigor and vitality. Every person is unique and has something different and your main priority is to work towards what you desire.

There are two ways you can achieve. One is to take the hard road and you cruise along until the day you realise you are only ‘dreaming’ about your goal not ‘working’ towards it and therefore will probably not achieve it.

The other is the easier road where you can learn by listening to others who have achieved, read books, or by attending courses. With your new found knowledge you are more positive and you decide what steps are right for you whilst working more quickly towards achieving.

Personality

Understanding your personality is an advantage when goal setting. You are aware of your strengths and weaknesses and grasp why you are achieving in some areas of your life and not in others.

Right-brained creative thinkers are constantly coming up with new ideas and so they achieve in a creative business and marketing is generally much easier for them.
However the most difficulty they will have is in the area of finances, systems and analytical areas. It’s the opposite for the left brained thinkers.

Here are some tips to help.

10 Tips towards achieving MAGIC in your 2010 Goals.

1. Take time to daydream and write down or draw pictures of your goals.
2. Created your goal from your right brained creative thinking.
3. Use your left analytical side of your brain plan out HOW to achieve it.
4. Understand that you will be challenged and to ask for help.
5. Visualise achieving your goal.
6. Be prepared to make sacrifices and changes.
7. Take the risk and enjoy life as you achieve.
8. Value your health, have fun, laugh and love along the way.
9. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
10. Pat yourself on the back and reward yourself constantly.

Keeping positive while you make change in your life is another challenge. One step each day will reap your results. For more help a free report called Attitude 4 Success and an ongoing programme is available on the website below.