Monday, August 17, 2009

7 Attributes or a Positive Attitude

7 Attributes to a Positive AttitudeAttribute 1

Your attitude will determine your future. It sounds simple, but it is harder to do. Developing and maintaining a positive mental attitude is determining and controlling your thoughts.

There is negativity and doom and gloom being discussed so it is easy to ‘tune in’ to that type of thinking. With the downturn in the economy, people losing jobs and money, politicians squabbling and selling their policies, sometimes it is tricky to turn your thinking to a position that is helpful to you rather than destructive.

Become Solution Focussed

To change from a negative attitude instead of focusing on the problem you need to take a 180 degree spin and start focusing your thoughts on solutions. The longer you think about the problem the longer it will be before you discover your solutions.
You can only think one thought at a time so it’s important for your success that you make a choice and make it a positive one. If you are having 60,000 negative thoughts your actions will lead you to a day of despair or 60,000 positive thoughts will have you bouncing around life, surviving and beating your challenges.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Article I was interviewed on about Kiwi Men....

Lazy Kiwi males lose points
4:00AM Wednesday Aug 05, 2009
By Jarrod Booker NZ Herald

Kiwis 8th best husbands, Aussies worst
Kiwi men are not doing enough around the house to win over their wives and partners, new research suggests, but we are still doing better than our transtasman cousins.

New Zealand ranked ninth-equal out of 13 countries in an Oxford University study that examined how people become more attractive to the opposite sex by helping out with the household chores and looking after the children.

Swedish men topped the table as most attractive in terms of pulling their weight around the house, while Australians - perhaps preoccupied by their great loves of beer and sport - came in last, British news website reported.

The website quoted experts who said that women were more attracted to men if they believed they would help around the house and share the childcare.

Relationship expert Janice Davies said there was no denying that Kiwi men had some improving to do when it came to carrying the load in the household. Some of the older generation especially, who grew up seeing their mothers doing all the housework, needed to change their thinking.

"There is some of that old school thinking still around, that even though the man is working and the woman is working, that she should be doing all the housework, which is obviously showing up in this survey," Janice Davies said.

A harmonious relationship was about giving as well as taking.

"If you're running a home, a family and doing all the housework, exhaustion sets in, and in all honesty, the nicer sides of the marriage are likely to be non-existent."

Researchers in the study questioned 13,500 men and women aged between 20 and 45 from each country about gender, housework and childcare responsibilities.

Based on their responses, each country was given a rating on an "Egalitarian Index". Women in countries with less equality in the home were found to be between 20 and 50 per cent less likely to settle down with a man.

Dr Almudena Seville-Sanz, of Oxford University's Centre for Time Use Research, said: "This study shows that in egalitarian countries there is less social stigma attached to men doing what was traditionally women's work".

However, while the study suggested that women favour men who are willing to treat them as equals, it also found that men themselves placed less value on the quality in the opposite sex.

* Our place on the Egalitarian Index:

3. Britain
4.United States
5.Northern Ireland
7.Republic of Ireland
9. =New Zealand, Japan

Friday, May 15, 2009

Selfday - International Self Esteem Day

Making a Difference
International Self Esteem Day

Celebrate this annual awareness day with family, friends and associates. Statistics reveal 95% of children and adults experience lack of confidence, self belief or low self esteem sometime in their life. Those individuals who have overcome their challenges, were fortunate to have their confidence boosted by a family, work colleague, a sports coach or even a passing stranger who has encouraged and steered them onwards to success

With the current economic climate, people in businesses, family, schools and communities are experiencing challenges. With each of us responsible for our thoughts, this is an opportunity for everyone, especially adults to analyse their thinking and re-set strategies to ensure they remain positive, confident members of society and passing on the positive thinking to their children and sphere of influence.

Whether during childhood or adult life…low self-esteem can be soul destroying. The trick is learning to overcome it. Some do and some do not, instead carrying around debilitating thoughts about their own self worth for the rest of their lives, revealing, itself during addictive and negative habits.

With your thoughts unable to be operated on and unseen in an x-ray, so there is no cut and paste like on a computer. Your only solution is stopping the negative thoughts and replacing them into positive ones. If people do not they never live to their ability and potential.

Starting as babes in arms, the best key is unconditional love, guidelines about acceptable and unacceptable behaviour, understanding and teaching children at their different stages of development and praise for their achievements. With their brains soaking up their thirst for knowledge they are learning the most in their first few years of life. They learn to move, crawl, walk, skip and hop, make their sounds turn into words and then sentences, make a mark and create lines, shapes and paintings recognizable by adults, so there are plenty of opportunities for building a child’s esteem, by their parents.

During school years, life mastery continues forming the basis of their adolescent years. That’s when the tell tale signs of low esteem turn into negative actions. Using data from a 10 year study by Richie Poulton and his team, from the Dunedin Multidisciplinary Health and Development Research Unit, discovered that adolescent with poorer mental and physical health had higher levels of criminal behaviour compared to those of adolescents with high self esteem. They summed up, saying that interventions designed to raise self esteem can have beneficial consequences in reducing violence and improving mental health.

But it’s not just our youth. Once in the workplace, adults with low self esteem are less likely to perform to their ability. Held back by lack of confidence, fearful of ridicule and rejection, their thoughts transmit messages of ‘I’m no good’ ‘I’ll never get it right’, “I don’t deserve’ and other negative thoughts.

Additionally, some people ‘thrive’ on the misfortunes of others. If they can entice those through bullying tactics, they create their egotistical feelings of superiority at the consequence of others, which in itself demonstrates a shoddier malfunction in their thinking….and low self esteem.

Along with our aging generation, ‘home alone’ pensioners and grandparents, baby boomers being replaced at work by younger people and maturity instead of bringing wisdom, bringing loneliness and despair, there could be deemed a rise in low esteem within the mature population as well.

A study by Richard T Lovelace in 2003 further reveals that those with high self-esteem were better able to handle stress than those with low self-esteem. More and more studies world-wide are endorsing the importance of having a good level of esteem and self belief.

Those with high esteem had other people supporting and encouraging them sometime during their lives, until they learnt to become self reliant. Therefore, there comes a time in life when these confident, successful people need to start to help others, just as they had received.

Therefore the question arises, how do you create high esteem? If you think of a roller coaster ride, some people love it and others hate it. Feelings and our interpretation of them, happen in a nanosecond within our body. If your heart races at the excitement of a roller coaster ride or races at the fear of a roller coaster ride, it is pre-supposed that exciting and scary are the same feelings. If that is the case, then the interpretation lies in the individuals mind.

Consequently reprogramming of your thoughts about fear and excitement and all your other negative thoughts is necessary to boost your esteem. Those that don’t, let fear of the unknown rule their lives, versus, the excitement of achievement. Terrible and negative things happen to everyone but the winners in life are the people that have learnt to overcome their negative thoughts about them.

With change constant in our lives, every part of society is engulfed in the need for us to learn, and with that comes stress. We no sooner master the keys on our new mobile and it is discarded for a new one with additional gadgets and tools that do not operate like our previous phone.

With younger people losing the connection with the outdoors and relying on technology to give them an adrenaline buzz it’s easy to become removed from personal interaction with other people. When they are out socializing, their actions are overshadowed with the misconception that drugs are necessary to enjoy life. A bungee jump might just be as good!

So, what can we do to help ourselves, work colleagues, families and country.

With New Zealand’s 6th National Self Esteem day on 24th June, it’s time to shuffle our thinking. Janice Davies, New Zealand’s representative on the International Council of Self-Esteem started celebrating this day because it’s an idea whose time has come. It’s a world first, she says and with our pioneer and entrepreneurial spirit and with New Zealand being the first country daily to greet each new day, it is fitting for the day to be founded and commence here.

However, we want to spread this globablly, so embrace the idea and share in your home and workplace.

Janice is encouraging people to do the following with children, family, friends and colleagues:

• 5 Activities to boost their own esteem e.g. Exercise
• 5 Activities to boost another person’s esteem e.g. Give compliment
• 1 or more activity to help the community e.g. Pick up one piece of rubbish

But the key is, she says, once you have tried it and like it and experience the ‘feel good’ factor for yourself, continue the activities and incorporate them into your daily life. Then, like other winners, you too can achieve your potential and start encouraging others as well. Here are ten additional tips.
1. Stop comparing yourself with other people and stop putting your self down.
2. Use affirmations to boost your self-esteem.
3. Associate only with positive focused people who you can learn from.
4. Learn to be still. The average person doesn't spend 30 minutes a month in total silence.
5. Make a list of your positive qualities, start at ten increase to 100.
6. Take up an exercise program - you will feel better and look better!
7. Remember good things people have said about you and write them down
8. Make any changes that help you e.g. appearance, hair style, friends, foods or behaviour.
9. Eat healthy food and stay away from diets that you always fail. Instead join a group or change your lifestyle where you can succeed.
10. Change negative thoughts to positive thoughts by focusing on the positive ones. Your mind can only think of one thought at a time. Make it a positive one!

Visit my website for free downloads
Additional tips, articles, 125 Tip Ebook and one page success journal

Want to progress in your professional life - Get a Coach

Career Development through Coaching

Knowledge Is Power was my old school motto. It did not mean much to me at the age of ten however a few decades later, I realise knowledge is the key to success.

Everyone’s past thoughts and consequent actions has got them to their present situation in life.
As a manager or for yourself, it is understanding that if you want others or yourself to improve or make changes to performance, it’s imperative for your knowledge to be expanded.

Any person stuck in a rut, fearful of promotion or trying something new, angry at the lack of their promotion, negative, underperforming or complains, needs an injection of information to move forward. One situation was where an employee did not get the promotion expected and was categorized as an ‘unsettling’ although very qualified technician. It took a month before the person was willing to be coached, but the result was extremely positive.

With staff performance and retention a less expensive options than staff replacement, an astute manager will benefit from additional training or if that is unavailable, individual coaching for an employee. To get ‘buy in’’ from an employee, I ask for five reasons why an employee wants to receiving the coaching before I start. No-one can enforce change, therefore the initial consent is vital.

Educating an employee through individual coaching provides an environment of safety.
Once trust has been established the employee can share their grievances to a qualified ear knowing their work colleagues will never know of their dilemmas.

Employees are usually employed for their level of professional competency at performing a job. Normally what fails to be determined in the recruitment stages of employment is the level of personal development. After a few years, the lack of it, reveals itself through mediocre or stagnant performance.

Rather than questioning performance, it is understanding that everyone has had different values, experiences, circumstances in their life and not everyone has been fortunate as other colleagues to learn skills to personal success. Since the value of personal development has been recognized as an integral key of employee’s performance, coaching provides a positive solution.

It is a supportive manager and willing employee who chooses a coaching process to help them understand themselves, their past and present situations to create a positive future. Athletes and CEO’s receive coaching to help them succeed and embracing the concept of coaching for transformation is a wise move indeed.

Visit these webpages
For my free 5 day online course
online course

For my 5 sessions/10 week online course
online course

Friday, April 17, 2009

HI Folk

On You Tube I mentioned Susan Boyle and her critical turning point, a decision to do something different, try at being a professional singer, something she had dreamed about since she was 12 but never given it a shot. When she did, it worked.

Well, we are not all like Susan, but we all have critical turning points. In the movie Pursuit of Happiness, Will had a critcal turning point when he decided he would go into finances and insurance and eventually, became a millionaire.

Everybody has these times in their life and to learn more about this here's an excerpt from my ebook 'Say Yes to a Positive Attitude', I wrote,

Often you've had a cruicital turning point in your life. This is where you've had a 'situation' that promoted a major decision in your life. Here's an example. If you've had a major health scare, it may be that you've had to change your diet dramatically and exercise regularly to enure future good health. It was a critical turning point and you can choose whether to create a healthier you and live longer, or continue life the same and shorten your life.

The critical turning point, is your thinking your decesion, about your action. So, if you want to improve your life, you need NEW thoughts so you make NEW decisions, because you past has got you to where you are now.

You can do this and make decisions with the 6 areas of your life and become happier, loved and more successful, or not. That decision is yours. If you want more information, about keeping a positive attitude visit my website for the ebook 'Say Yes to a Positive Attitude'.

Watch the clip on YOU Tube

Until next time...Go Well, Be Positive and Just do it!
website and

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

weekly attitude tips on you tube

Hi folk

I've decieded to get out and 'just do it' and have started posting attitude tips on You Tube.
It's a learning curve....but that's what life is about. Check them out and let me know your thoughts. Janice

Monday, February 2, 2009

New Vision and Focus!!

Life is about expanding your self, your view and your vision.

This is a new idea...about how to create your future.

I had an 'aha' moment when I heard these words 100K in 100 Days.

I just liked the ring of with a new vision...will set about creating it.

This is the 'stuff' in life that makes you buzz.

Search out yours. Get my ebook on How to Get what you Want in Life to Achieve your Success
and work through the process.


Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Creating an awesome 2009

Dreaming great. But it takes action to implement them.
One of my dreams is to cruise the world. You would think it would
cost lots of money. However...thinking outside the square box has
me finding a place where I can use my work skills to cruise for free. read it right!!! I was blown away as well. BUT it means
I have to do some background work...and of course I will.

SO...with your dreams that may seem unreachable...what are you
doing to find a way of creating them.

Just do it!!