Sunday, November 17, 2013

Achieving Success

Achieving Success

In your quest for success you will encounter challenges to your thinking.  It may have been ‘aha’ thoughts or you have realised areas in your life that have blocked you from success previously.  
At my coaching meeting with my Movie Script Coach at Santa Monica Los Angeles

As you overcome them and make changes, some of your friends, family or work colleagues will want you to remain the same.  If you’ve always caught the bus to work but now cycle for fitness, your friend you chatted with each trip will be encouraging you to return to the bus. They miss your time together. However, this is when you can remain friends and please them, or be true to yourself and your goals. 

Getting in Movie Mode - Walking on the Red carpet at 'the Universal studios
Reaching success in big goals starts with small steps.  Becoming a vet or a doctor is a long-term goal.  Years of training are undertaken before being employed.  Each passed exam is a step towards the big plan.  Enjoy the steps, because each one is leading to your fulfilment.

 On your journey towards your goal, you will be challenged from many directions.  Being true to yourself is your ultimate goal. Your life is precious, rewarding for learning loving and enjoying.  Live each day to the fullest, yesterday has gone, so have no regrets, and tomorrow has not yet come.
Inside the Dolby Theatre in Hollywood where they have the Grammy Awards

Monday, October 28, 2013

Difficult People Stories from Workshops

Over the years of running my most popular workshop on Dealing with Difficult People and Tricky Situations, I have had many people who have realised they are getting bullied by a co-worker.
Here are three bullying stories:

75 Reported Incidents
 A lady attended my workshop to learn how to deal with difficult people. While she listened, she suddenly realised that she was being bullied from a colleague. After the workshop she discussed her challenges with her Human Resources officer. She was told to record her experiences over the next two weeks. She recorded 75 episodes. After her next meeting with her HR officer, she was told that the three of them would sit down and discuss them all. The lady then told the HR officer that because she was not sleeping or eating properly. And was constantly worrying about work and losing weight, she decided that she could not endure the cross examining. She said she would rather leave and handed in her notice and left her job.

Unfortunately the bully stayed and was not reprimanded, waiting for her next victim and the lady who left within a month found a better job, with no bullying.

Family Dysfunction affects Managers Autocratic Performance

In his early 40’s a manager in a building factory was told to attend my workshop. The business owner for whom he worked for, shared with me the disruptive behaviours of his employee.
During the workshop the employee shared that he was on medication for his stress and depression. As a child he had been beaten from his drunken father and had grown up in a very dysfunctional family. He had been married 2 or 3 times and his present relationship was not very happy. He was a good looking physically fit man, but was very unhappy with his personal and professional life. He was very clever with his hands, hence his work as a building factory and was promoted to manager. However, the challenge came with his bullying and autocratic style of management. He only knew one way to have relationships and that was to bully people so they did what he wanted.
After my workshop he had some understanding about what had happened in his life, but when he left he was undecided whether he would continue learning and start to change his life.
 4 Employees in 18 months

A lady who attended my workshop, came to learn how to deal with a difficult female manager at work.  She was in a secretarial position and found after three months in the job, that she was feeling less confident every month. Her husband was concerned for her and suggested she learn how to stand up to her. After my workshop she realised she was being bullied by the manager and after discussing it with others in the lunchroom, she discovered that she was the fourth person in this position in 18 months. The previous three ladies had either been relocated within the university or found other positions. Her HR officer told her to just put up with it, but after attending my workshop and understanding what was happening, the lady who attended decided that she would ask to be relocated within the company or find another position. She knew she was a confident woman before this working in this position and wanted to become a confident lady again, rather one who was getting demoralised at her work from a bully.

Her Testimonial
I thank you for your assistance at the course. It was good for me to be able to identify the problem and the behaviour and not to blame myself (or continue to think that I am incompetent when I have been working in admin for 30 years) for what has been happening within the office. Three of the four staff working under this person have now resigned, all having found other positions and the 4th is job hunting. I think the final straw was when I was told not to have anything to do with several important PA’s because they had formed an unfair and unjust opinion of my boss.

If you want more online information about difficult people and bullying, visit
Difficult People Help

Monday, September 23, 2013

Two Fun Sailing Poems

What a Woman Likes to See

What a woman likes to see
But where most men don't like to be
Down below in the galley
Making a hot cup of tea
Or cleaning up the mess
They say, they like that even less.
I've not read it in a book
That a woman should be the cook
So, A woman loves to see
A man below in the galley.
Inspired as I watched four men cleaning up the boat after their holiday.
I got a tea towel thrown at me, after I'd written this and when I read it to the men.

Wearing my favourite clothes (and they still are) my old America's Cup uniform on the helm of an old America's Cup boat...Bliss!!

Washing the Decks

There's a fun part comes out in me
Especially when I'm on high sea
Captain's hat upon my head
On the helm, where I love to be
Sails full of 30 knot breeze
Sailing, angled precariously
The men after, after a drink or three
Nature calls - top priority
Deciding the sterns not safe to be
Down below to the loo they flee
That's when I chose, so thoughtfully
To call out "it's time for me...
To wash the decks beneath the sea"
So, I angle the boat off to the lee
Waves wash along the bow to me
Yes, done so innocently
Upset man's balance precariously
As I 'washed the decks, beneath the sea'
When nature calls the men
After a drink or three!!
Written on the high seas from Cavalli Islands towards Whangaroa Harbour up north.
 I was paid back!!
Poems from my book: Sailing a Different Course.
2000 America's Cup volunteers...I'm in the middle in the front.
A black sheep in the family.
Only lady willing to take the gamble until a few others joined in.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

A Schools Testimonial

Check out what I thought of Janice

The Staff at Naenae Primary School in Lower Hutt were motivated and encouraged with a one day workshop lead by Janice Davies on 15th October 2012.

The presentation was called ‘Becoming OUR Best’.

She shared on a range of topics which included: Change, attitude, personalities, work relationships, communication, confidence, appreciation of yourself and your team, with the overall theme of the day, about team building and success.

Through Janice’s entertaining and interactive presentation staff at Naenae Primary had the opportunity to reflect on the many components of positive teams.  We were able to look at our individual views on life and the influences we have on others but especially ourselves.

Janice provided a range of activities that enabled the staff to identify different personality traits and to use these as positives for build a stronger team. 

All staff came away with very useful strategies that will assist them in their own lives and within our organisation. 

As Janice puts it, ‘Your positive Attitude and High Self Esteem leads to Your Success”.

This worthwhile and invigorating day energised and motivated all the staff.  The positive effects are ongoing and radiating throughout.  I highly recommend Janice, The lady with Nice in her name, to any school or organisation who is looking at promoting a positive and encouraging approach to life.

Be the Change you want to see...If it’s to be – It’s up to me!”

Murray Bootten


Naenae Primary School


Tuesday, July 9, 2013

The Power of Yes video from Dr Gary Wohlman

Are you feeling blue with the changes in your life?

Are you challenged with the changes in your life?

What if they are part of your school of life's learning curve?

No, it's not algebra or physics or maths or drawing or technology you need to learnt now, it's this life lesson.
  • Is it tricky?
  • Is it challenging?
  • Is it pushing your buttons?
  • Do you find it hard?
If you answered yes, to any of these questions, then I invited you to:
  • Change your perception
  • Change your energy
  • Change yourself.

And enjoy this video.

Monday, June 17, 2013

13 Benefits of learning how to deal with difficult people.

    As challenging as this is to comprehend, difficult people are a learning curve for you. They will annoy and challenge you until you change your thoughts, feelings and actions so you learn how to deal with them, albeit by using new words or at the other end of the scale, removing yourself from the relationship by finding another job or relationship.
    Here are some benefits about why you should learn to deal with them.
    1. You learn that it is not you, who is the problem.
    1. You understand the situation and why it is occurring.
    1. You confirm you are in a negative relationship with the difficult person.
    1. You understand why you could be fifty percent of the problem, (this is only because there is two people involved).
    1. You realise that the change you want is completely in your hands (or head).
    1. You learn how to change your thoughts.
    1. You learn how to communicate assertively
    1. You learn how to say no when you wanted to say yes.
    1. You learn how to improve your self esteem.
    1. You learn new skills to empower yourself.
    1. You sleep better and feel happier.
    1. You learn never to let this happen to you again.
    1. You become empowered.
Being angry and stressed doesn't solve the problem, it just leaves you with sleepless nights.
Your best state of living is when you are empowered!
If you want to learn how to be a confident, assertive person, who has the courage to follow their dreams, create their perfect life, overcome challenges, have faith in themselves and their journey in life, then visit my XFactor Confidence website.  Click here

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Creative People Sought By Managers - New Research about Creators


Have you ever felt rejected by your peers because they thought you were weird or different? A new study by a Johns Hopkins University business professor finds that social rejection can inspire imaginative thinking, particularly in individuals with a high sense of self-esteem.

“To individuals who already feel separate from the crowd, social rejection can be a form of validation,” say Professor Sharon Kim. “Rejection confirms for independent people what they already feel about themselves—that they’re not like others. For such people, that distinction is a positive one leading to greater creativity.”

Social rejection normally has the opposite effect on people who value the importance of fitting in and belonging to a group. Her study found that those with high self-esteem and feelings of independence are not adversely affected by social rejection. More business managers are looking for individuals who are creative thinkers, those who might have an unconventional personality making them subject to social rejection. Such rejection can actually recharge the creativity an independent person. Her study is reported in the Journal of Experimental Psychology, 2012.