In fact, they are being selfish when they want you to look after them before you look after yourself. They are wearing two hats. I want you to look after me (I'm being selfish) but when you want to look after you (You are being selfish). It is their needs which are met in both situations whilst yours are not. It's what is called a win/lose relationship...Win for them and Lose for you!!If not now, eventually this leaves you feeling not ok!
If you're not healthy and happy, you are not doing a good job of living your life. When you are making them happy and healthy as your foremost goal, you will become increasingly unhappy and eventually resentful.
Here's an overview with EITHER and OR situations:
Change your Personal Power
in Difficult Relationships
YOU IN A Difficult Relationship Situation
CHOICE 1 CHOICE 2
Living life Now Living Life Tomorrow
Not Empowered L OR Empowered J
Saying Yes to others/No to you OR Say No to others & Yes to you
Unhappy Feeling/Not OKL OR Happy feeling/OKJ
Old boundaries OR New boundaries
(Unhappy & Your Past) L OR (Happy & Your Future)J
Doing things you don’t want OR Making you happy
(Feel used) L OR (Feel in control of you)J
Being abused by someone OR Creating new boundaries
(Feel abused) L OR Feel happy)J
Put up with things you don’t like OR Spend time on your goals
(Feel undeserving) L OR (Feel worthy & successful) J
YOU DECIDING WHICH WAY TO LIVE YOUR LIFE
LOSE/LOSE RELATIONSHIP L OR WIN/WIN L
LIVE BELOW POTENTIAL L OR CREATE YOUR POTENTIAL L
DON’T CREATE DREAMS L OR CREATE YOUR DREAMS J
DON’T CREATE SUCCESS L OR CREATE YOUR SUCCESSJ
UNDERACHIEVE IN LIFE L OR ACHIEVE J
You will see that Choice 1 which is maybe where you are right now, will never bring you the happiness and success across all areas of your life, until you start to set new boundaries for yourself.
It's one step at a time...but as the quote goes: When the student is ready, the teacher appears.
I Urge you go on your journey of empowering yourself to create new boundaries for yourself in your life and with others as you develop and create the dreams and success you desire in you life. You will always be supported by someone on your journey...it starts with you saying 'Yes to You!"
There is no-one in the world who has the same fingerprint as you - and the world needs everyone to step up to become their greatest....Your day can start today!
More information about help with difficult relationships here: