I was told to be his friend!!
I had heard about him before he arrived in our college. However, one day it was my turn, because he didn't get my job. After looming over me while I sat at my desk, he verbally abused me for five minutes. I attempted to stand my ground, but was no match for this man.
After he left and took 3 days off work to recover (I was back at work the next day), my big boss told me - to be his friend. He said we were similar...(eek) both divorced, had two young daughters and worked in the travel industry. I could have lunch with him and be his friend.
This time I could stand my ground. I had learnt about relationships the lose/lose and the win/win...and I did not have to suffer anymore by being his friend. I had the confidence to communicate this however I realised I still had to work with him, so would discuss work topics only. A few weeks later he left to terrorise another workplace.
However the trick is to learn how to have positive rather than negative relationships. The next trick is to realise they are NOT going to change...and the person who must learn is you. Only with your new found knowledge and confidence can you understand and seek solutions that work for you.
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