Wednesday, November 7, 2012

My Workplace Relationship Challenge

I was told to be his friend!! 

A bully had come to our workplace six months earlier. He bullied his students, his wife over the phone and was working his way through the tutors. He was over six foot high, brushed back his hair with brylcream (like my dad did twenty years ago) had a red face (like a dragon) and after his morning swim before he came to work, would spend the next hour sniffing! He marched around thinking he was fabulous, because he 'got his way' but in reality he was a loser.

I had heard about him before he arrived in our college. However, one day it was my turn, because he didn't get my job. After looming over me while I sat at my desk, he verbally abused me for five minutes. I attempted to stand my ground, but was no match for this man.

After he left and took 3 days off work to recover (I was back at work the next day), my big boss told me - to be his friend. He said we were similar...(eek) both divorced, had two young daughters and worked in the travel industry. I could have lunch with him and be his friend.

This time I could stand my ground. I had learnt about relationships the lose/lose and the win/win...and I did not have to suffer anymore by being his friend. I had the confidence to communicate this however I realised I still had to work with him, so would discuss work topics only. A few weeks later he left to terrorise another workplace.

However the trick is to learn how to have positive rather than negative relationships. The next trick is to realise they are NOT going to change...and the person who must learn is you. Only with your new found knowledge and confidence can you understand and seek solutions that work for you.

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