You Should Love This Person on Valentines Day

Society has bought us up to think of other people are sometimes more important than us. Yes, that's true at certain times in our lives...however in personal relationships, you'll attract another person who is at the same level of thinking at yourself and you're unhappy, so are they likely to be. So, search for this person and be your own hero and have a healthy respect for yourself and your own life....before thinking a partner is the only person who deserves your love. You need to love yourself first...

Find this tricky to do, or know who someone who does, sharing is caring and ....enjoy this free ebook and tips www.internationalselfesteem.com or follow me for heaps more tips to living your life to the fullest. :)

How to Create a Fabulous Valentines Day for Yourself!

 

All our lives we spend with ourselves and yet sometimes we’ve had thought that having a partner is vital to our happiness. Valentines Day is possibly one of those day and along with being a big marketing gig, it’s can also be a day with up and down thoughts. Whether you are in any of these scenarios, these tips will work for you:

·         Madly in love

·         Madly out of love (Left a bad relationship, he lied, cheated or was a scum bag)

·         Better on your own

·         Haven’t found the right person – guy or girl

·         Lost someone

·         Was left for another person

·         Or anything else….

Valentines day is a great day to turn your attention to yourself. Sure if you’ve got someone you want to swoon, that’s fine, but it doesn’t need to be a partner, you can have a great day looking after yourself, enjoying yourself, having fun with friends or family. Here’s ten tips

·         Decide you’re going to have an awesome day – no matter what!

1.      Give your body a treat – fingernails (maybe not guys), exercise, massage,

2.      Do something with nature – bush/beach walk, tend the garden, smell some flowers

3.      Give yourself a treat – buy yourself some flowers, your favourite ice-cream, drink

4.      Do something for a friend, family, stranger – give them a flower, kiss, smile, present

5.      Humour yourself – check out You Tube for comedies

6.      Be healthy – (after the ice-cream), nourish your body with healthy food versus junk food

7.      Motivate yourself to take action on something that you’ve procrastinated about

8.      Write down 7 things you like about yourself. Free Ebook and Tips here

9.      Learn something positive Attitude Ecourse here

10.  Boost your Self Esteem Free Self EsteemEcourse here

11.  Improve your Relationships Free Difficult People Ebook here

12.  Like this page and share these tips to help someone else today.

Ultimately remember, YOU are the most important person in your life. Put YOURSELF at the top of your priority list and make sure you’re enjoying your life with yourself. Follow my blog or FB for more tips. Most importantly (if there is such a word) have a great day!!

 

 

13 Benefits of learning how to deal with difficult people.

 
As challenging as this is to comprehend, difficult people are a learning curve for you. They will annoy and challenge you until you change your thoughts, feelings and actions so you learn how to deal with them, albeit by using new words or at the other end of the scale, removing yourself from the relationship by finding another job or relationship.
 
Here are some benefits about why you should learn to deal with them.
 
1. You learn that it is not you, who is the problem.
 

2. You understand the situation and why it is occurring.
 
3. You confirm you are in a negative relationship with the difficult person.
 
4. You understand why you could be fifty percent of the problem, (this is only because there is two people involved).
 
5. You realise that the change you want is completely in your hands (or head).
 
6. You learn how to change your thoughts.
 
7. You learn how to communicate assertively
 
8. You learn how to say no when you wanted to say yes.
 
9. You learn how to improve your self esteem.
 
10. You learn new skills to empower yourself.
 
11. You sleep better and feel happier.
 
12. You learn never to let this happen to you again.
 
13. You become empowered.

Being angry and stressed doesn't solve the problem, it just leaves you with sleepless nights.

 

Your best state of living is when you are empowered!

 

If you want to learn how to be a confident, assertive person, who has the courage to follow their dreams, create their perfect life, overcome challenges, have faith in themselves and their journey in life, then visit my XFactor Confidence website.  Click here

Creative People Sought By Managers - New Research about Creators

“SOCIAL REJECTION MAY VALIDATE CREATIVE MINDS”

Have you ever felt rejected by your peers because they thought you were weird or different? A new study by a Johns Hopkins University business professor finds that social rejection can inspire imaginative thinking, particularly in individuals with a high sense of self-esteem.

“To individuals who already feel separate from the crowd, social rejection can be a form of validation,” say Professor Sharon Kim. “Rejection confirms for independent people what they already feel about themselves—that they’re not like others. For such people, that distinction is a positive one leading to greater creativity.”

 

Social rejection normally has the opposite effect on people who value the importance of fitting in and belonging to a group. Her study found that those with high self-esteem and feelings of independence are not adversely affected by social rejection. More business managers are looking for individuals who are creative thinkers, those who might have an unconventional personality making them subject to social rejection. Such rejection can actually recharge the creativity an independent person. Her study is reported in the Journal of Experimental Psychology, 2012.

How to Move from Fear to Faith - Overview.

At the beginning of the 2000 millennium many people around the globe were anticipating ‘some changes’. Like many around the world, I wondered what we would encounter. The media shared a variety of ideas and globally I think we all anticipated more ‘good’ coming to us personally and into our world. Although there was no ‘big bang’ I believe there have been many subtle changes experienced.

 You and every single person on the globe has been on a journey since then. In this ebook I’m sharing my journey and invited colleagues who each had individual paths to follow but are working for the good of human-kind. Each of us has our own values, beliefs, spiritual views and encountered different experiences and lessons. However, we have a commonality in that we all became more authentic and on our individual paths.

 This two thousand millennium is in fact the third millennium. Three also has a significant spiritual meaning and there is the astronomical calendar which also differs in time to our common western calendar. I am sharing this so you understand there are different times/zones/aspects and calendars in life and you need to decide what ‘feels’ right for you to follow. Alternatively you could be like me and I follow a bit them all.  

 New Zealand’s time zone affords us the privilege to greet each and every day first in the world we were the first country in the world to ‘welcome’ the year 2000. I chose to attend a public event at the Auckland domain with a group of friends. The light show and firework display was going to be first to be broadcast around the world by the media.

 However New Zealand is a country of inclement weather, where often you can experience four seasons in one day. On the new millennium eve, showers were forecast for the evening. As we sat in the park, the sky darkened and a mist rolled in over the city and blocked out the stars. Our fireworks celebration was lost in the haze and our media coverage to the rest of the world… was lost in the mist.  Although a disappointing start, we still sang and danced to welcome in the year 2000 – the new millennium!

 Afterwards I watched other celebrations on television and I was a little sad for New Zealand. However a friend, Ann Andrews had a different opinion on the situation saying it was similar to the book the Mists of Avalon. In that book the mist hid and protected the spiritual kingdom. Therefore she suggested that because New Zealand was a spiritual and creative country we were being sheltered. The mist descended and blocked New Zealand out until the ‘time was right’. And on that note, whenever the time is right - I do not know, but maybe it’s now.

 

Read more from the ebook. See Below.

 

FREE EBOOK  "How to Move from Fear to Faith"  Click Here

Earn More Money by Being More Confident

Do you want more money in your life to pay the rent or mortgage, go on holiday, buy a new car or save for retirement? If you’re like me then your answer is yes! However now you’ve got to decide how you are going to make your money. Is it in your business if you are self-employed or if you’re employed is it into your pay packet.

Businesses have changed and even the teller in a bank is now up selling a product for higher commission with the question and ‘chat’ about insurance or another product. It’s the same ‘up sell’ concept made famous when you visit McDonalds and hear the phrase “would you like chips as well”.

Usually to make money you either have to sell a service or an item and you do this by promoting either yourself to your boss or colleagues, or to your customer or clients.
Maybe you don’t fit think you fit the category of a salesperson but I’d like to share some ideas with you.

If you want a promotion, you’ve had to sell yourself by proving you are a great performer by providing a great service or upskiling yourself with your work. If you have a business, you have to sell yourself by promoting your product or service to your clients. If you want a new job you have to promote yourself at the interview. No matter what, you are selling yourself to other people.

To be successful there are a number of common denominators you require. One is your skills, or your attitude or work experience. I’d like to include something you don’t get a qualification for and that is your confidence. Instead you learn that as a lesson in your life.

If you get a tick for the first three denominators but a minus for your confidence, it’s possible another person, product or service will be chosen instead of you. Albeit, you have not been able to sell yourself.

Here’s a list of things you might have to sell to others in your work environment if you want to create more money to come into your life:

• You
• Your ideas
• Your wishes
• Your needs
• Your ambitions
• Your skills
• Your experience
• Your products
• Your services….
• …and that’s at work.

Ultimately, to do these you need to be confident. You need to have high self esteem. You need to believe in yourself and your abilities and if you don’t you need to learn how.

Every business wants top performance from their employees. Making money today is more challenging since the recession and its ongoing affects. Consequently, if you want to have more money for you, your employer or your own business you need to improve your performance.

Hard you might say, when you either don’t like your job or there are not any others available where you live. However, you’ve still got another choice and chance to make money.

Now, to do this you have to follow your own dreams and finding your internal motivation. Whether it’s a job you love, or a reason to work, or a goal you want to achieve, your best performance will come when you are self motivated by being involved doing something you love. Once you have pin pointed that, you need to reassess the list above to decide which is your method to make the money you desire.

Hundreds of opportunities are available but you need to be willing to move out of your comfort zone to upgrade yourself with new skills. If you’re shy, timid or lack confidence or have low self esteem you’re going to be ‘stuck in a rut’ and unless you find the courage, you may be stuck there for the rest of your life. You’ll be living below your potential and I can guarantee, you will be unhappy!

Confidence and self esteem is created with your thoughts. When you are feeling low you’re not likely to ‘push’ out of your comfort zone to expand yourself. Therefore your key is to train your thoughts to be positive. To do this you need a variety of steps, including assessing your values, beliefs, goals, communication and many other personal development techniques learning about personalities, relationships and letting go of the past to live in the present and much more.

When a negative thought enters your mind, the best technique is to think “NO” I am not going to think that thought and replace it with a positive thought. This can involve a positive action such as contacting a client, complete an unfinished task, or offering to help a team member or engage in some online networking or selling. Each one of those tasks happens because of your inner motivation and confidence which eventually could result in the outer action of making money.

Every second, you have the chance to improve your confidence and self-belief. Surround yourself with positive quotes, books, courses and positive people and you’re on your way to creating your best by being more confident and making yourself more money.


Now.. if you want to know more...check out the free ebook on our website
or free webinar http://www.xfactorconfidence.com

Bullies Begone Article

COME ALONG TO OUR AUCKLAND WORKSHOP - 10TH AUGUST 2010

HOW TO DEAL WITH TOXIC EMPLOYEES, BULLIES AND AVOID DAMAGES CLAIMS

WAIPUNA LODGE, 9.00AM TO 4.00PM.
ANN ANDREWS speaking on Performance Management
MICHAEL SMYTH - speaking on The legalities and avoid damages claim
JANICE DAVIES - speaking on The victim and bully traits.

Be quick to reserve your space.

http://www.approachablelawyer.com/Page/workshop/1967

BULLIES BEGONE

Why bullying at school is creating problems with our economy and how to fix it

Bullied at high school, it took me twenty years to realise its impact and get back on track in life. Both my daughters were bullied at high school as well. One received text death threats and this was solved with taking the telephone to the police. The other was the recipient of physical abuse from a group of girls and this was solved with changing schools. Whilst both daughters are now qualified and working in their dream careers, bullying at school can have a longer term impact on people’s lives and the success of New Zealand as a world economy.

How bullying impacts our economy

A recent report published by Massey University reveals that New Zealand has some of the highest rates of workplace bullying in the world illustrated by the fact that in the health, education, travel and hospitality sectors 18 percent of those surveyed had been bullied at work. The cost on the victim is immense and in my case cost me 20 years of my life, but there is also a cost on the organisation which permits the bullying behaviour and the bully.

For the organisations, bullying leads to employee disengagement which research shows means higher absenteeism, higher staff turnover costs and lower sales (estimated by the Best Places to Work Survey as being 60% less than a fully engaged workplace). For the bully, failing to deal adequately with their behaviour denies them the opportunity to grow into great leaders. It should come as no surprise therefore that these problems start at a young age when the bully is at school. With truancy on the rise it’s vital to cull the bullying so victims like my daughters are not wagging school to be safe.

School bullying and how to fix it

It is easy to think of school bullying as occurring between pupils only, but let’s not forget that teachers can be victims too, whether that arises from being bullied by another teacher or even one of their students. Therefore different strategies need to be adopted to deal with each situation.

One Manurewa East primary school principal, who completed his masters in the UK focussing on bullying, used his research to solve the school’s problem of bullying between pupils. He introduced compulsory sport in the last half hour of lunch breaks, which research proved was the time most bullying occurred. Not every student likes maths, or reading but it was still part of the curriculum so he introduced compulsory lunchtime sport. Students are kept busy and have no energy to bully others.

That strategy tackles one cause of the problem – boredom by pupils. However, in the workplace boredom is unlikely to be the issue and rather, the Massey report suggests that a primary driver of the problem is a lack of leadership skills within an organisational culture which tolerates bullying behaviour. So if there is a problem of bullying in the workplace (including between teachers) then a different approach needs to be taken.

Start with the culture

In any organisation, the starting point is to look at the culture to see whether it tacitly encourages or actively discourages bullying behaviour. Let’s not forget that our teachers of today were our pupils of yesterday. Similarly our current business leaders, managers and employers also were the pupils of yesterday. A person who grew up in a school environment which allowed him or her to engage in bullying behaviour is more likely to carry that trait forward into adulthood and into the workplace.
Schools therefore must adopt a zero tolerance bullying culture which encourages pupils to work in teams not cliques, creates respect amongst students and most importantly builds confidence and self esteem within individuals. Some classroom strategies include:

• Creating anti bullying zone in class and school
• Art class – making ‘anti-bullying posters, creating dream (goals) posters
• Education about good, bad, happy, angry, scared, fearful, exciting, sad feelings and their appropriate actions
• Educating about feeling good by positive actions (create rewards and certificates)
• Teaching and boosting self esteem with genuine compliments (start a give a compliment day)
• Rotate students seating and include group work to constantly create new teams
• Boost self-esteem by more ‘up the front’ presentations
• Start a new set of positive classroom rules with input by teachers and students
• Including books, DVD’s and posters for further education.

With that culture in place, the school then needs to have systems and processes in place for dealing with bullying complaints which allow victims to reach out for help without making the situation worse for them. Such processes shouldn’t focus solely on relationships between students but incorporate the relationships of student and teacher and teacher and teacher, anticipating that there may be situations where it is the teacher than is being bullied by the student.

As this problem increases a teacher needs to revert to use assertive phrases “I can understand how you are feeling” or similar to let the student understand they are being listened to valued and continue communicating with follow up discussions planned. However, step two if you ‘intuition’ or ‘gut reaction’ is to that physically danger is imminent, remove yourself with phrases like “I'll go and find someone else we can discuss this with” or similar. If personal safety factors are a major concern rearrange the room so your desk is close to an exit.

Next fix the people.

The key strategy when dealing with the victim and the bully is raising their level of self-esteem. After its impact on myself and family, it’s my life mission to improve the awareness of self-esteem, hence the annual mid-year Selfday – International Self Esteem day. Free tips, downloads, Eposters are available for download on www.internationselfesteem.com and visit the bully page for additional information.

Another concept is a Friday afternoon or Monday morning session in the classroom designed to re-enforce self-esteem, achievements, goals and steps for present and future successes. It includes encouraging pupils to use phrases such as:

• I am great because …
• Today I achieved …
• I felt good because …
• Next week I will try …
• I wish that …

These have been compiled into a one page Success Journal which can be downloaded and copied weekly from http://www.attitudespecialist.co.nz/school-coaching.htm.

For both bully and victim, lessons in leadership are vitally important. Study great leaders and encourage pupils to identify different leadership styles and whether each style is effective in bringing the best out of the team and the individual. It is a sad fact that many people entering industry today are ill equipped to take leadership roles and when promoted into those positions leave a trail of destruction behind them.

Education goes further than the curriculum.

Teachers have long known that by educating our children through the school curriculum we create adults who have the intellectual minds to tackle the problems of the future. However, the Massey report identifies that where New Zealand is falling short amongst its global counterparts is in the area of emotional intelligence and effective leadership which are the antitheses to bullying. Development of those skills starts at school.

After working in education systems from pre-school to tertiary and understanding some of its complexities, it’s vital that bullying is addressed. Students are failing because of its impact. Behaviour in society is reflected in our schools and I have joined forces with a performance management expert Ann Andrews and lawyer Michael Smyth to stamp out bullies. Help us to make a difference with our survey invitation below.

What are your views on bullying and how it can be fixed?

We would like you to take part in a short 5-10 minute survey on bullying. To take the survey, go to www.surveymonkey.com/s/nobullies

Janice Davies is The Attitude Specialist, who teaches people to be positive and empower themselves. As a Professional Speaker, Success Coach and author Janice educates people at conferences, workshops and through books. Janice is the founder of the global movement International Self Esteem awareness day.. Janice has online complimentary articles, tips, E-courses, E-posters products on attitude, self-esteem goals, stress, happiness, relationships and more. Visit http://www.attitudespecialist.co.nz.