Workplace Bullying has hit NZ news.
Here is my TVNZ interview.
Click on the link and check what I had to say.
http://tvnz.co.nz/search/ta_ent_search_tv_skin.xhtml?q=Janice+Davies&sort=date%3AD%3AS%3Ad1&submit.x=40&submit.y=13
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Workplace Bullying Television interview
Here is my TVNZ interview.
Click on the link and check what I had to say.
http://tvnz.co.nz/search/ta_ent_search_tv_skin.xhtml?q=Janice+Davies&sort=date%3AD%3AS%3Ad1&submit.x=40&submit.y=13
Workplace Bullying affects by Self Esteem
Self Esteem and Bullying Affects Workplace Performance
In the land of tall poppies, it appears self esteem issues has raised its ugly head in our professional life in the work environment.
Additionally, during this ‘r’ time, as people and businesses are facing work redundancies, loss of business and other factors, people need to concentrate to remain confident in their own abilities as they and refocus their future. Albeit, they need to remind themselves they did not cause the recession and maintain their level of high esteem as they seek positive solutions during this time of challenge, through motivation and a positive attitude.
With NZ’s present suicide rates high and our steady decline of personal responsibility, sense of achievement and purpose, esteem is also affecting the professional lives of New Zealanders.
Human nature wants acceptance and appreciation in relationships which results in people ‘feeling good’. Unfortunately many people have not learnt an optimistic way to establish and create this and negative soul destroying bullying type of relationships are formed.
If it is un-encouraging at home, it filters to school and eventually into our workplaces It shows up as negativity, underperformance, bulling and other under achieving behaviour that is wasting the wages the employee is being paid and those they influence.
Additionally, a person who is bullying wants to feel good, be recognized and powerful at no matter what cost. They do it at the expense of another employee which accounts for two employees not working at their full potential.
Bullies have low self esteem. They may not portray that, but inside there is a person who wants to be accepted and loved, who doesn’t know any other way and so they become very clever. They find a vulnerable spot of a person and wedge their thought and ideas onto the person subtly and skillfully, often without the awareness by the second party it is taking place. People who once had confidence often may not realise what is occurring, except whereas once they felt confident in themselves and okay, they are now losing or have lost their confidence and feeling inadequate and dreading going to work.
In most cases, once a person realises they are being bullied, they usually seek resolution with the appropriate department heads or boss. Often this does not occur except further analysis and examination of the bullying situation, which re-enforces the bully’s power and has the opposite affect on the victim. Consequently they leave and the bully is waiting for its next prey.
If every few months you require a replacement employee in a certain department, it could be indicative there is a bully around who displays their destructive behaviour until either the new replacement is manipulated or leaves.
Some symptoms of low esteem
1. Lacking coincidence to learn, make sales or try a new role
2. Negative attitude, complaining and criticising others.
3. Overbearing or autocratic team player
4. Focuses on others problems rather than being responsible for their own
5. Quiet, shy employees who lack confidence
6. Egotistical employee who belittles bullies others
With over forty workshops during the past three years, one of the biggest learning curve for majority of people has been around the issue of self-esteem and unfortunately the most consistent bullying is done by women to women. However, once identified the problem has been half solved with additional counseling sought to re-establish the confidence of the person on the receiving end of the bullying and educate them that if it was not them it would be another person.
On the upside is high esteem. People who establish win/win supportive relationships where they help others, offer advice when asked, set goals are willing to learn, team players who generally help others but not at their own expense.
These people can become employees involved in mentor /mentee relationship and can assist educate them to be empowered, which is the single biggest factor that any human can do for another.
In homes, schools and in the community and workplaces, to create a new psyche in New Zealand, education is needed to improve the low esteem level of many New Zealanders.
Not a job to be taken lightly, for those whose self esteem is intact it may well be because the influence of people in their past.
Albeit a family member, sports coach, friends, strangers or managers who have what I phase ‘shoulder-tapped’ others to have the confidence to learn and succeed, are effectively angels or change agents in disguise. They encourage people to try something new which boosts their esteem and kick starts them to live life positively.
In the land of tall poppies, it appears self esteem issues has raised its ugly head in our professional life in the work environment.
Additionally, during this ‘r’ time, as people and businesses are facing work redundancies, loss of business and other factors, people need to concentrate to remain confident in their own abilities as they and refocus their future. Albeit, they need to remind themselves they did not cause the recession and maintain their level of high esteem as they seek positive solutions during this time of challenge, through motivation and a positive attitude.
With NZ’s present suicide rates high and our steady decline of personal responsibility, sense of achievement and purpose, esteem is also affecting the professional lives of New Zealanders.
Human nature wants acceptance and appreciation in relationships which results in people ‘feeling good’. Unfortunately many people have not learnt an optimistic way to establish and create this and negative soul destroying bullying type of relationships are formed.
If it is un-encouraging at home, it filters to school and eventually into our workplaces It shows up as negativity, underperformance, bulling and other under achieving behaviour that is wasting the wages the employee is being paid and those they influence.
Additionally, a person who is bullying wants to feel good, be recognized and powerful at no matter what cost. They do it at the expense of another employee which accounts for two employees not working at their full potential.
Bullies have low self esteem. They may not portray that, but inside there is a person who wants to be accepted and loved, who doesn’t know any other way and so they become very clever. They find a vulnerable spot of a person and wedge their thought and ideas onto the person subtly and skillfully, often without the awareness by the second party it is taking place. People who once had confidence often may not realise what is occurring, except whereas once they felt confident in themselves and okay, they are now losing or have lost their confidence and feeling inadequate and dreading going to work.
In most cases, once a person realises they are being bullied, they usually seek resolution with the appropriate department heads or boss. Often this does not occur except further analysis and examination of the bullying situation, which re-enforces the bully’s power and has the opposite affect on the victim. Consequently they leave and the bully is waiting for its next prey.
If every few months you require a replacement employee in a certain department, it could be indicative there is a bully around who displays their destructive behaviour until either the new replacement is manipulated or leaves.
Some symptoms of low esteem
1. Lacking coincidence to learn, make sales or try a new role
2. Negative attitude, complaining and criticising others.
3. Overbearing or autocratic team player
4. Focuses on others problems rather than being responsible for their own
5. Quiet, shy employees who lack confidence
6. Egotistical employee who belittles bullies others
With over forty workshops during the past three years, one of the biggest learning curve for majority of people has been around the issue of self-esteem and unfortunately the most consistent bullying is done by women to women. However, once identified the problem has been half solved with additional counseling sought to re-establish the confidence of the person on the receiving end of the bullying and educate them that if it was not them it would be another person.
On the upside is high esteem. People who establish win/win supportive relationships where they help others, offer advice when asked, set goals are willing to learn, team players who generally help others but not at their own expense.
These people can become employees involved in mentor /mentee relationship and can assist educate them to be empowered, which is the single biggest factor that any human can do for another.
In homes, schools and in the community and workplaces, to create a new psyche in New Zealand, education is needed to improve the low esteem level of many New Zealanders.
Not a job to be taken lightly, for those whose self esteem is intact it may well be because the influence of people in their past.
Albeit a family member, sports coach, friends, strangers or managers who have what I phase ‘shoulder-tapped’ others to have the confidence to learn and succeed, are effectively angels or change agents in disguise. They encourage people to try something new which boosts their esteem and kick starts them to live life positively.
Bullying creates self esteem challenges
Bullying create Self Esteem Challenges
Janice Davies – Attitude Specialist
Feeling powerful is one of the characteristics of bullies. They feel great when they see another person cringe after they have challenged them either verbally, emotionally or physically and this can even stretch to spiritually.
Bullies use their actions in these ways to make themselves feel good. The other party
feels intimidated, threatened or other negative ways. They will succumb to the
demands of the bully to keep the peace and stop the present teasing or antagonism. This leaves them feeling un-empowered, guilty, uncomfortable, angry and other negative emotions.
Bullies don’t care how you feel, they just care that they get their way. Bullies are only concerned about their own feelings and they’re false sense of power.
You’ll find bullies in personal or professional lives. They can be the boss, co-worker, customer or in one’s personal life, the parent, partner or at school, the children causing the fights, or in today’s society sending the threatening text or email.
Bullies are people who have not learnt in their life about how to create good relationships. In the first five to seven years of our life, people’s values about life and ‘how it works’ are formed. If they’ve experienced challenging negative relationships, that’s all they know. They don’t know how to express themselves, work in a good team, show love and care for other people without playing verbal, emotional or physical games.
Bullies are people who have low self esteem and to make them feel good, need power over other people. This creates negative relationships at work and home life. However the person who is being bullied also has low self esteem. This creates a lose/lose type of relationship. Both people have not learnt interpersonal skills and personal development.
Until one person learns how to interact assertively, the bullying continues. Once the other party starts to learn techniques to empower themselves, the relationship starts to change.
To the disgust and anguish or anger of the bully, the other person they once bullied doesn’t react in the same way. The bully will continue trying the same techniques that once got them the reaction and power they wanted. If the person succumbs to the pressure and returns to their old behaviour, the bully has won. This is the recurring patterns in relationships at work and home.
The answer for the person who is being bullied is to un-entangle themselves from this power playing and negative style relationship and move forward in their life. In a work situation it can be as drastic as changing jobs, which many people do. In personal life it can create the same result of leaving relationships, unless both parties are willing to learn together with guidance how to create a positive life.
In either of the above situations, the learning person of the relationship starts to boost their self esteem and overcomes their self doubt learning to feel good about themselves. This is what life’s challenges are for, to prompt people to learn skills to overcome their hardships. Any negative feeling or emotion is an indication that something is not right and needs to be addressed. Sometimes there’s a lot of this negativity and the key is to ‘chip’ away slowly at the challenges. They need to learn to move forward in their life, with more positive thoughts and goals to use their gifts and passions to create their dream life for themselves. It’s everyone’s challenge and some people have mastered the technique and others don’t try.
It’s important for the person learning, to continue their personal growth, coaching or counseling to ensure they have an understanding about their past. It’s also important for this person not to feel guilty and forgive themselves so they can move forward positively in life.
In the work place I hold my Dealing with People and Tricky Situations public and in-house workshops and have Ebooks and manuals which help people understand their situation and empower them with skills to move forward. All the information in these products relate to both personal and professional life. Additionally, my Attitude Training and Online Success Coaching courses all assist and teach people skills to success in their personal and professional life.
Janice Davies – Attitude Specialist
Feeling powerful is one of the characteristics of bullies. They feel great when they see another person cringe after they have challenged them either verbally, emotionally or physically and this can even stretch to spiritually.
Bullies use their actions in these ways to make themselves feel good. The other party
feels intimidated, threatened or other negative ways. They will succumb to the
demands of the bully to keep the peace and stop the present teasing or antagonism. This leaves them feeling un-empowered, guilty, uncomfortable, angry and other negative emotions.
Bullies don’t care how you feel, they just care that they get their way. Bullies are only concerned about their own feelings and they’re false sense of power.
You’ll find bullies in personal or professional lives. They can be the boss, co-worker, customer or in one’s personal life, the parent, partner or at school, the children causing the fights, or in today’s society sending the threatening text or email.
Bullies are people who have not learnt in their life about how to create good relationships. In the first five to seven years of our life, people’s values about life and ‘how it works’ are formed. If they’ve experienced challenging negative relationships, that’s all they know. They don’t know how to express themselves, work in a good team, show love and care for other people without playing verbal, emotional or physical games.
Bullies are people who have low self esteem and to make them feel good, need power over other people. This creates negative relationships at work and home life. However the person who is being bullied also has low self esteem. This creates a lose/lose type of relationship. Both people have not learnt interpersonal skills and personal development.
Until one person learns how to interact assertively, the bullying continues. Once the other party starts to learn techniques to empower themselves, the relationship starts to change.
To the disgust and anguish or anger of the bully, the other person they once bullied doesn’t react in the same way. The bully will continue trying the same techniques that once got them the reaction and power they wanted. If the person succumbs to the pressure and returns to their old behaviour, the bully has won. This is the recurring patterns in relationships at work and home.
The answer for the person who is being bullied is to un-entangle themselves from this power playing and negative style relationship and move forward in their life. In a work situation it can be as drastic as changing jobs, which many people do. In personal life it can create the same result of leaving relationships, unless both parties are willing to learn together with guidance how to create a positive life.
In either of the above situations, the learning person of the relationship starts to boost their self esteem and overcomes their self doubt learning to feel good about themselves. This is what life’s challenges are for, to prompt people to learn skills to overcome their hardships. Any negative feeling or emotion is an indication that something is not right and needs to be addressed. Sometimes there’s a lot of this negativity and the key is to ‘chip’ away slowly at the challenges. They need to learn to move forward in their life, with more positive thoughts and goals to use their gifts and passions to create their dream life for themselves. It’s everyone’s challenge and some people have mastered the technique and others don’t try.
It’s important for the person learning, to continue their personal growth, coaching or counseling to ensure they have an understanding about their past. It’s also important for this person not to feel guilty and forgive themselves so they can move forward positively in life.
In the work place I hold my Dealing with People and Tricky Situations public and in-house workshops and have Ebooks and manuals which help people understand their situation and empower them with skills to move forward. All the information in these products relate to both personal and professional life. Additionally, my Attitude Training and Online Success Coaching courses all assist and teach people skills to success in their personal and professional life.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Appreciate your Workplace Team
For any school to run efficiently there will be a group people with different skill sets and ideas. Have a big happy family at work might be the ideal, as long as understanding and respect is not undermined. A variety of challenges such as lack of personal development, egos, bullies and other unpleasant behaviors can cause disruptions.
Therefore learning to appreciate your colleagues, some of their idiosyncrasies, provides a platform for a more harmonious work space. Protocol and being PC at work also provide guidelines for positive feedback to boost workplace performances.
One of the biggest ‘aha’s, although it seems rather basic, is to remember that everyone is there for the same goal. Some people will reply they come to work for the money but really they are working to provide service to the customer – the pupils. Whether it is the external (parents or suppliers) or internal (pupils and colleagues) customers, working by the philosophy ‘do unto others as you would have done unto you’ provides a honorable statement for positive workplace relationships in any school.
In one school I worked the heads of department were jostling for ‘their importance’ which was causing disruption. It was a boarding school with the kitchen, laundry, matron, sports and others. It was not until together we reminded them that they were working for the ‘good’ of the pupils. Then they relaxed and began working as a team again. They all loved their work and the positive affects but had forgotten why they chose to work in that environment.
Albeit they learnt each department had different personalities and understood the impact that had on their actions and reactions. Then they could honour their differences, rather than dismiss and ridicule them because different departments ‘did not’ work exactly the same way as themselves.
Additionally, once they were reminded of their main goal of ‘helping their pupils’ I had the platform for prompting them about helping each other. This resulted in creating win/win relationships, versus the thinking ‘I have to win and I don’t care at ‘whose’ expense. I.E. I want the budget spent on my department because it is most important.
Consequently this had resulted in bullying and emotive communication which had developed in their workplace relationships. When people appreciate their colleagues’ strengths and learn how to communicate assertively and effectively, the relationships change.
People who are using bullying tactics are indicative of those who are still playing in the playground as the pupil, stamping their feet until they get their own way. Unable to do it physically, they turn to verbal and often subtle phrases and abuse, playing a game to assert their importance.
It is inflated self-importance which reveals that this person may have lower self confidence that they profess. In an attempt to ‘boost themselves’ they try to negate the other person. Doing so, makes them feel good.
These people need to learn there are other ways to make themselves ‘feel good’ besides manipulative behaviour.
In another school, the principal was shaken when he discovered that bullying was taking place in the school office. Unbeknown to him this negative behaviour had crept in with a new full time employee who threw her authority around especially to the longer employed part-timers.
Notwithstanding, there are the negative people, unable to move past the ‘challenge’ of last week or last year, about ‘how’ things were done or not done and are not willing to
embrace the changes and move forward. The complainer and negative folk need to learn to focus on the positives rather that get stuck in the past. It might take them three months to learn a new system, whereas it took others three days.
In creating positive workplaces it is paramount to move past the ego and into the hearts of the team. People in the teaching profession and their support staff and are the caregivers in society. Albeit they have different traits, but with respect and appreciation combined, the result is a highly effective school.
Everyone has a specific task to perform and exell in. Appreciating the differences and accepting each others strengths is a key to improving the workplace relationships and thus levels of productivity in helping the students perform. One of Mother Theresa’s famous quotes was: Be Kind and Merciful. Let no one ever come to you without coming away better and happier. Maybe this is challenging philosophy to live by, but worth the effort to try. Like a ripple in a pond, the ‘good’ feeling of appreciation spreads to the pupils and into society. Creators of our future society, we need to remember another quote: Appreciation is like an insurance policy, you have to keep renewing it.
Therefore learning to appreciate your colleagues, some of their idiosyncrasies, provides a platform for a more harmonious work space. Protocol and being PC at work also provide guidelines for positive feedback to boost workplace performances.
One of the biggest ‘aha’s, although it seems rather basic, is to remember that everyone is there for the same goal. Some people will reply they come to work for the money but really they are working to provide service to the customer – the pupils. Whether it is the external (parents or suppliers) or internal (pupils and colleagues) customers, working by the philosophy ‘do unto others as you would have done unto you’ provides a honorable statement for positive workplace relationships in any school.
In one school I worked the heads of department were jostling for ‘their importance’ which was causing disruption. It was a boarding school with the kitchen, laundry, matron, sports and others. It was not until together we reminded them that they were working for the ‘good’ of the pupils. Then they relaxed and began working as a team again. They all loved their work and the positive affects but had forgotten why they chose to work in that environment.
Albeit they learnt each department had different personalities and understood the impact that had on their actions and reactions. Then they could honour their differences, rather than dismiss and ridicule them because different departments ‘did not’ work exactly the same way as themselves.
Additionally, once they were reminded of their main goal of ‘helping their pupils’ I had the platform for prompting them about helping each other. This resulted in creating win/win relationships, versus the thinking ‘I have to win and I don’t care at ‘whose’ expense. I.E. I want the budget spent on my department because it is most important.
Consequently this had resulted in bullying and emotive communication which had developed in their workplace relationships. When people appreciate their colleagues’ strengths and learn how to communicate assertively and effectively, the relationships change.
People who are using bullying tactics are indicative of those who are still playing in the playground as the pupil, stamping their feet until they get their own way. Unable to do it physically, they turn to verbal and often subtle phrases and abuse, playing a game to assert their importance.
It is inflated self-importance which reveals that this person may have lower self confidence that they profess. In an attempt to ‘boost themselves’ they try to negate the other person. Doing so, makes them feel good.
These people need to learn there are other ways to make themselves ‘feel good’ besides manipulative behaviour.
In another school, the principal was shaken when he discovered that bullying was taking place in the school office. Unbeknown to him this negative behaviour had crept in with a new full time employee who threw her authority around especially to the longer employed part-timers.
Notwithstanding, there are the negative people, unable to move past the ‘challenge’ of last week or last year, about ‘how’ things were done or not done and are not willing to
embrace the changes and move forward. The complainer and negative folk need to learn to focus on the positives rather that get stuck in the past. It might take them three months to learn a new system, whereas it took others three days.
In creating positive workplaces it is paramount to move past the ego and into the hearts of the team. People in the teaching profession and their support staff and are the caregivers in society. Albeit they have different traits, but with respect and appreciation combined, the result is a highly effective school.
Everyone has a specific task to perform and exell in. Appreciating the differences and accepting each others strengths is a key to improving the workplace relationships and thus levels of productivity in helping the students perform. One of Mother Theresa’s famous quotes was: Be Kind and Merciful. Let no one ever come to you without coming away better and happier. Maybe this is challenging philosophy to live by, but worth the effort to try. Like a ripple in a pond, the ‘good’ feeling of appreciation spreads to the pupils and into society. Creators of our future society, we need to remember another quote: Appreciation is like an insurance policy, you have to keep renewing it.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Securing your 2010 Goals
Securing your Goals in 2010
Securing your future starts with the end in mind. To retire with your dream income or lifestyle means you have to decide your outcome so you can work towards your goal. To save for a house deposit, your dream car or overseas trip has you involved in daydreaming or visualisation as many athletes do. They have seen themselves crossing the line first or on the podium with their medal and have learnt to ‘see the end in mind’ and work backwards in their training programme.
It’s the same with your new 2010 goals. What achievable results do you imagine you want to reach this year and write them down. Winning lotto is only a small possibility and even purchasing weekly tickets has no guarantee. Whereas, if you want to improve your fitness level you can start with a weekly or daily routine and you will have positive outcomes by 31st December.
The key to achieving is to understand you are living in a constant state of learning. You reach one goal and the next is scooting along ready for you. Hence you constantly need to learn new skills or ways of thinking to move forward in life.
When you are setting goals you have six different areas to set goals in: You, Health, Relationships, Work, Finances and Community. Focusing on all areas as the top priority will not achieve the results you want, so learning to balance these are your key to success. Albeit, you may have one or two as top priority goals for the year, which then become your focus.
As you are creating your life you need to replace your thoughts with new positive ideas that are aligned to your goal. For you to be successful your goals need to be aligned to your values or life rules. Additionally, if you want to save money for an overseas holiday, spending on a busy social life may spend your holiday fund.
Goal versus Intention
In the state of juggling life some of your goals may fail to meet the deadline. This can result in negative thinking, where in fact ‘life’ cropped up and you ‘lived’.
Additionally, the word ‘goal’ for some people has a deadline connotation. Sometimes using the word ‘intention’ works better. There is not the same sense of deadline attached to it. So missing the deadline for a goal (and the negative thinking attached to it) versus achieving an intention (positive thinking) is less stressful and also more successful.
Hard versus Easy road
A goal or intention is the key to success and ongoing happiness in your life. It makes you live life more enthusiastically and has the power to ‘get you out of bed’ with vigor and vitality. Every person is unique and has something different and your main priority is to work towards what you desire.
There are two ways you can achieve. One is to take the hard road and you cruise along until the day you realise you are only ‘dreaming’ about your goal not ‘working’ towards it and therefore will probably not achieve it.
The other is the easier road where you can learn by listening to others who have achieved, read books, or by attending courses. With your new found knowledge you are more positive and you decide what steps are right for you whilst working more quickly towards achieving.
Personality
Understanding your personality is an advantage when goal setting. You are aware of your strengths and weaknesses and grasp why you are achieving in some areas of your life and not in others.
Right-brained creative thinkers are constantly coming up with new ideas and so they achieve in a creative business and marketing is generally much easier for them.
However the most difficulty they will have is in the area of finances, systems and analytical areas. It’s the opposite for the left brained thinkers.
Here are some tips to help.
10 Tips towards achieving MAGIC in your 2010 Goals.
1. Take time to daydream and write down or draw pictures of your goals.
2. Created your goal from your right brained creative thinking.
3. Use your left analytical side of your brain plan out HOW to achieve it.
4. Understand that you will be challenged and to ask for help.
5. Visualise achieving your goal.
6. Be prepared to make sacrifices and changes.
7. Take the risk and enjoy life as you achieve.
8. Value your health, have fun, laugh and love along the way.
9. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
10. Pat yourself on the back and reward yourself constantly.
Keeping positive while you make change in your life is another challenge. One step each day will reap your results. For more help a free report called Attitude 4 Success and an ongoing programme is available on the website below.
Securing your future starts with the end in mind. To retire with your dream income or lifestyle means you have to decide your outcome so you can work towards your goal. To save for a house deposit, your dream car or overseas trip has you involved in daydreaming or visualisation as many athletes do. They have seen themselves crossing the line first or on the podium with their medal and have learnt to ‘see the end in mind’ and work backwards in their training programme.
It’s the same with your new 2010 goals. What achievable results do you imagine you want to reach this year and write them down. Winning lotto is only a small possibility and even purchasing weekly tickets has no guarantee. Whereas, if you want to improve your fitness level you can start with a weekly or daily routine and you will have positive outcomes by 31st December.
The key to achieving is to understand you are living in a constant state of learning. You reach one goal and the next is scooting along ready for you. Hence you constantly need to learn new skills or ways of thinking to move forward in life.
When you are setting goals you have six different areas to set goals in: You, Health, Relationships, Work, Finances and Community. Focusing on all areas as the top priority will not achieve the results you want, so learning to balance these are your key to success. Albeit, you may have one or two as top priority goals for the year, which then become your focus.
As you are creating your life you need to replace your thoughts with new positive ideas that are aligned to your goal. For you to be successful your goals need to be aligned to your values or life rules. Additionally, if you want to save money for an overseas holiday, spending on a busy social life may spend your holiday fund.
Goal versus Intention
In the state of juggling life some of your goals may fail to meet the deadline. This can result in negative thinking, where in fact ‘life’ cropped up and you ‘lived’.
Additionally, the word ‘goal’ for some people has a deadline connotation. Sometimes using the word ‘intention’ works better. There is not the same sense of deadline attached to it. So missing the deadline for a goal (and the negative thinking attached to it) versus achieving an intention (positive thinking) is less stressful and also more successful.
Hard versus Easy road
A goal or intention is the key to success and ongoing happiness in your life. It makes you live life more enthusiastically and has the power to ‘get you out of bed’ with vigor and vitality. Every person is unique and has something different and your main priority is to work towards what you desire.
There are two ways you can achieve. One is to take the hard road and you cruise along until the day you realise you are only ‘dreaming’ about your goal not ‘working’ towards it and therefore will probably not achieve it.
The other is the easier road where you can learn by listening to others who have achieved, read books, or by attending courses. With your new found knowledge you are more positive and you decide what steps are right for you whilst working more quickly towards achieving.
Personality
Understanding your personality is an advantage when goal setting. You are aware of your strengths and weaknesses and grasp why you are achieving in some areas of your life and not in others.
Right-brained creative thinkers are constantly coming up with new ideas and so they achieve in a creative business and marketing is generally much easier for them.
However the most difficulty they will have is in the area of finances, systems and analytical areas. It’s the opposite for the left brained thinkers.
Here are some tips to help.
10 Tips towards achieving MAGIC in your 2010 Goals.
1. Take time to daydream and write down or draw pictures of your goals.
2. Created your goal from your right brained creative thinking.
3. Use your left analytical side of your brain plan out HOW to achieve it.
4. Understand that you will be challenged and to ask for help.
5. Visualise achieving your goal.
6. Be prepared to make sacrifices and changes.
7. Take the risk and enjoy life as you achieve.
8. Value your health, have fun, laugh and love along the way.
9. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
10. Pat yourself on the back and reward yourself constantly.
Keeping positive while you make change in your life is another challenge. One step each day will reap your results. For more help a free report called Attitude 4 Success and an ongoing programme is available on the website below.
Monday, August 17, 2009
7 Attributes or a Positive Attitude
7 Attributes to a Positive AttitudeAttribute 1
Your attitude will determine your future. It sounds simple, but it is harder to do. Developing and maintaining a positive mental attitude is determining and controlling your thoughts.
There is negativity and doom and gloom being discussed so it is easy to ‘tune in’ to that type of thinking. With the downturn in the economy, people losing jobs and money, politicians squabbling and selling their policies, sometimes it is tricky to turn your thinking to a position that is helpful to you rather than destructive.
Become Solution Focussed
To change from a negative attitude instead of focusing on the problem you need to take a 180 degree spin and start focusing your thoughts on solutions. The longer you think about the problem the longer it will be before you discover your solutions.
You can only think one thought at a time so it’s important for your success that you make a choice and make it a positive one. If you are having 60,000 negative thoughts your actions will lead you to a day of despair or 60,000 positive thoughts will have you bouncing around life, surviving and beating your challenges.
Your attitude will determine your future. It sounds simple, but it is harder to do. Developing and maintaining a positive mental attitude is determining and controlling your thoughts.
There is negativity and doom and gloom being discussed so it is easy to ‘tune in’ to that type of thinking. With the downturn in the economy, people losing jobs and money, politicians squabbling and selling their policies, sometimes it is tricky to turn your thinking to a position that is helpful to you rather than destructive.
Become Solution Focussed
To change from a negative attitude instead of focusing on the problem you need to take a 180 degree spin and start focusing your thoughts on solutions. The longer you think about the problem the longer it will be before you discover your solutions.
You can only think one thought at a time so it’s important for your success that you make a choice and make it a positive one. If you are having 60,000 negative thoughts your actions will lead you to a day of despair or 60,000 positive thoughts will have you bouncing around life, surviving and beating your challenges.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Article I was interviewed on about Kiwi Men....
Lazy Kiwi males lose points
4:00AM Wednesday Aug 05, 2009
By Jarrod Booker NZ Herald
Kiwis 8th best husbands, Aussies worst
Kiwi men are not doing enough around the house to win over their wives and partners, new research suggests, but we are still doing better than our transtasman cousins.
New Zealand ranked ninth-equal out of 13 countries in an Oxford University study that examined how people become more attractive to the opposite sex by helping out with the household chores and looking after the children.
Swedish men topped the table as most attractive in terms of pulling their weight around the house, while Australians - perhaps preoccupied by their great loves of beer and sport - came in last, British news website telegraph.co.uk reported.
The website quoted experts who said that women were more attracted to men if they believed they would help around the house and share the childcare.
Relationship expert Janice Davies said there was no denying that Kiwi men had some improving to do when it came to carrying the load in the household. Some of the older generation especially, who grew up seeing their mothers doing all the housework, needed to change their thinking.
"There is some of that old school thinking still around, that even though the man is working and the woman is working, that she should be doing all the housework, which is obviously showing up in this survey," Janice Davies said.
A harmonious relationship was about giving as well as taking.
"If you're running a home, a family and doing all the housework, exhaustion sets in, and in all honesty, the nicer sides of the marriage are likely to be non-existent."
Researchers in the study questioned 13,500 men and women aged between 20 and 45 from each country about gender, housework and childcare responsibilities.
Based on their responses, each country was given a rating on an "Egalitarian Index". Women in countries with less equality in the home were found to be between 20 and 50 per cent less likely to settle down with a man.
Dr Almudena Seville-Sanz, of Oxford University's Centre for Time Use Research, said: "This study shows that in egalitarian countries there is less social stigma attached to men doing what was traditionally women's work".
However, while the study suggested that women favour men who are willing to treat them as equals, it also found that men themselves placed less value on the quality in the opposite sex.
* Our place on the Egalitarian Index:
1.Sweden
2.Norway
3. Britain
4.United States
5.Northern Ireland
6.Netherlands
7.Republic of Ireland
8.Spain
9. =New Zealand, Japan
10.Germany
11.Austria
12.Australia
4:00AM Wednesday Aug 05, 2009
By Jarrod Booker NZ Herald
Kiwis 8th best husbands, Aussies worst
Kiwi men are not doing enough around the house to win over their wives and partners, new research suggests, but we are still doing better than our transtasman cousins.
New Zealand ranked ninth-equal out of 13 countries in an Oxford University study that examined how people become more attractive to the opposite sex by helping out with the household chores and looking after the children.
Swedish men topped the table as most attractive in terms of pulling their weight around the house, while Australians - perhaps preoccupied by their great loves of beer and sport - came in last, British news website telegraph.co.uk reported.
The website quoted experts who said that women were more attracted to men if they believed they would help around the house and share the childcare.
Relationship expert Janice Davies said there was no denying that Kiwi men had some improving to do when it came to carrying the load in the household. Some of the older generation especially, who grew up seeing their mothers doing all the housework, needed to change their thinking.
"There is some of that old school thinking still around, that even though the man is working and the woman is working, that she should be doing all the housework, which is obviously showing up in this survey," Janice Davies said.
A harmonious relationship was about giving as well as taking.
"If you're running a home, a family and doing all the housework, exhaustion sets in, and in all honesty, the nicer sides of the marriage are likely to be non-existent."
Researchers in the study questioned 13,500 men and women aged between 20 and 45 from each country about gender, housework and childcare responsibilities.
Based on their responses, each country was given a rating on an "Egalitarian Index". Women in countries with less equality in the home were found to be between 20 and 50 per cent less likely to settle down with a man.
Dr Almudena Seville-Sanz, of Oxford University's Centre for Time Use Research, said: "This study shows that in egalitarian countries there is less social stigma attached to men doing what was traditionally women's work".
However, while the study suggested that women favour men who are willing to treat them as equals, it also found that men themselves placed less value on the quality in the opposite sex.
* Our place on the Egalitarian Index:
1.Sweden
2.Norway
3. Britain
4.United States
5.Northern Ireland
6.Netherlands
7.Republic of Ireland
8.Spain
9. =New Zealand, Japan
10.Germany
11.Austria
12.Australia
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)